Meaning of Life & Regrets

SHARED THOUGHTS....31.12.12.

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LIFE

Once a man saw in his dream, that a lion was chasing him. The man ran to a tree, climbed on to it and sat on a branch. He looked down and saw that the lion was still there waiting for him.

The man then looked to his side where the branch he was sitting on was attached to the tree and saw that two rats were circling around and eating the branch. One rat was black and the other one was white. The branch will fall on the ground very soon.

The man then looked below again with fear and discovered that a big black snake had come and settled directly under him. The snake opened its mouth right under the man so that he will fall into it. The man then looked up to see if there was anything that he could hold on to.

He saw another branch with a honeycomb. Drops of honey were falling from it. The man wanted to taste one of the drops. So, he put his tongue out and tasted one of the falling drops of honey. The honey was amazing in taste. So, he wanted to taste another drop and then another and as a result, he got lost into the sweetness of the honey. He forgot about the two rats eating his branch away, the lion on the ground and the snake that is sitting right under him. Suddenly when the branch broke he remembered all the dangers woke up from his sleep.

The man couldn’t understand the dream, so he went to a scholar to know its meaning.

The scholar said ” The lion you saw is your death. It always chases you and goes where ever you go.

The two rats,one black and one white, are the night and the day. Black one is the night and the white one is the day. They circle around, coming one after another, to eat your time as they take you closer to death. The big black snake with a dark mouth is your grave. It’s there, just waiting for you to fall into it.

The honeycomb is this world and the sweet drops of honey are the luxuries of this world. We like to taste a little of the luxuries of this world and it’s very sweet. Then we want to taste little more and then more. Meanwhile, we get lost into it and we forget about our time, we forget about our death and we forget about our grave.”

Life is full of attractions and distractions. Live, Love, Laugh… Be content with Life. It’s awesome. - -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Our time will certainly come to an end, we will fall into that gaping mouth of the snake…ie. Grave; death will catch up with us, no matter where we hide, no matter how much we resist it or detest it… it is the only sure & predictable aspect of Life. Yet, each of us have been allotted time…. time to live and make a meaning of life…time to gain & share knowledge, time to gain & share love, time to gain & share goodwill…time to live the Life, with minimal regrets.
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Once a man asked God what is the meaning of Life.

God replied, Life itself has no meaning.

Life is an Opportunity to create a meaning in Life.

Life is not about expecting, hoping, wishing….

Its about doing, being and becoming.

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The life we live is the legacy we leave behind. Everyday counts for something, and every relationship has meaning. No one wants to live in mediocrity, with their dreams and aspirations deteriorating behind the façade of a day to day rat race.

At the end of life, many people express regrets, wishing for a second chance to get it right. In reality, there is no second chance; we have to get it right the first time.

These are the top ten regrets most likely to change the course of someone's life.

1. Never resolving a conflict.

The number one regret a person can have is not resolving a conflict. Countless funerals are full of regretful friends and family that never got the chance to right a wrong. Bitterness can sour a lifetime of memories, wedging itself in between relationships and people that love each other. Don't let anger last a lifetime.

2. Not spending enough family time.

For many people sending their kids off to college, or watching them get married can conjure thoughts of times growing up as a young family. Often work can come in the way of family time, resulting in distance between husbands, wives and children. Inserting a family day into a weekly schedule and making time for family vacations each year can prevent a person from having such a strong regret.

3.Not Landing a Dream Job

Going to college for years and getting a degree leads a person to begin seeking work in the field of their dreams. However, often employers are not hiring in limited fields, leaving post grads to find work in other occupations. What starts out as temporary can become permanent, with salaries and benefits luring employees into a lifelong commitment to a single company. While the money may be great, a job can feel like a rut if it isn't the job you longed for.

4.Not Saving Enough Money

For many people in their twenties or thirties, retirement seems like a distant future, not an impending reality. They may choose to defer retirement savings into other purchases for immediate gratification. This can turn into a disaster during the golden years, when money can often be tight. This is an easy regret to avoid by setting up automated investments into an IRA throughout the working years.

5.Not Having Children

Children are often viewed as distractions or inconveniences, getting in the way of careers and personal goals. Though it may seem like a good idea to not have kids, the choice can leave a person very lonely as they begin to age. It is a natural human desire to wish to leave a heritage with descendants, so be careful in choosing to put off having children.

6.Never Taking up a Sport or Hobby

Countless little boys spend their youth community sports, dreaming of one day playing for a professional league. Though not everyone has what it takes to be a professional, there are other ways to incorporate a passion for sports or other hobbies such as learning to play an instrument, or taking on a second language.

7.Never Telling Someone You Love Them

There is nothing like going to the grave, remembering "the one that got away." Sometimes it can be hard to express true feelings for someone if the outcome could mean rejection. However, holding it all inside will leave heart aching for closure. It is better to share your heart with a loved one, rather than miss out on a chance at happiness.

8.Never Traveling

Growing up, most people dream of visiting an exotic island, backpacking through Europe, experiencing the Great Wall of China, or finding love in the city of Paris. Travel is a healthy ambition that creates memories to last a lifetime. Failing to travel to a dream destination can leave a lifetime of regrets. Don't let financial circumstances or life events keep you from visiting the places that you love.

9.Never Getting a Degree

A small percentage of people successfully graduate high school, go to college, and acquire the degree that they set out for. Life circumstances can get in the way, with some students quitting college to get married, have children or go to work, never returning to school. For people who take pride in education and intelligence, having a degree is proof of their capabilities and accomplishment. It is never too late to go back to school and get the degree you always wanted.

10.Never Buying the dream home

Everyone has an idea of the perfect home in the perfect location. Maybe it's a luxurious apartment full of chic and modern furnishings. Or perhaps it's a three story beach house overlooking the ocean with a mountainous backdrop and scenic views. One of the biggest regrets a person can have is not raising a family in the dream location they once desired

But the deepest regret is a belated realization that time is over and a guilt that “I have wasted all the time”.

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Life is about the choices you’ve just made,

And the ones you are about to make.

It’s about the things you choose to say, today.

It’s about what you are going to do, after you finish reading this.

(its about if you are going to add to the list of regrets next year or choosing to have one regret less, in the New Year).

With all the best wishes for a Happy New Year.

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Take care, have a safe New Year eve,

MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/

Criticism & Law of Garbage Truck

SHARED THOUGHTS. 07.12.12

Recently I read.... Happiness is the interval between two sorrows.

Life is full opportunities with problems and solutions. The more you desire to achieve, the more will be the problems. Many a time, facing the problems, finding solutions and enjoying the results of the application of the solution to solve the problems are the experience in life.

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Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery. He wanted people's opinion about his caliber and painting skills.

He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read -"I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."

While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.

Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master's place and burst into tears.

This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely. I feel like dying"

Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt flawless painting. Do as I say without questioning it. It WILL work."

Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.

"Come with me." master said.

They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."

Master and disciple walked back home.

They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched. They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!

Moral of the story:

It is easier to criticize, but DIFFICULT TO IMPROVE!

So don't get carried away or judge yourself by someone else’s criticism and feel depressed...
JUDGE YOURSELF! YOU ARE YOUR BEST JUDGE!!!
   

from Jimmy.Jun’11.

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THE SHOES STORY

 You will perhaps have heard this very old story illustrating the difference between positive thinking and negative thinking.

Many years ago two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report back on market potential.

The first salesman reported back, "There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes."

The second salesman reported back, "There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes."

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This simple short story provides one of the best examples of how a single situation may be viewed in two quite different ways - negatively or positively.

We could explain this also in terms of seeing a situation's problems and disadvantages, instead of its opportunities.

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LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK -

Let the garbage go by…as narratted by David J. Pollay

   

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly she can get back her focus on what's important.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when all of a sudden, and I mean without warning, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded and missed the other car's back end by just inches.

Here's what happened next. The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. How do I know? Ask any New Yorker, some words in New York come with a special face.

Now, here's what blew me away. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the Hospital!"
 

And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, " The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He said,
Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you.

When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did. I guarantee it.

 

So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore."

Well now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting.

Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses.

Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.

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The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day.

What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

    from PS.Unny & GV.Anand.(Jun’11)

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If you keep on thinking of all the ways in which
others cheated you, fought with you,
degraded you or angered you;
your heart will forever be full of hatred & grudge.

Learn to let go. And be happy.

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Have a worry-free week ahead, be cool and be happy !!!

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MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/

Positives of negative thoughts.

 

SHARED THOUGHTS......20.10.12.
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Some of the books that influenced me in early days, were Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking, the “How to…” series from Dale Carnegie, Desmond Hill’s Law of Success, et al.

 

Positive thinking is perhaps the most widely written subject; but nowhere is much thought given to the ‘harmlessness’ of negative thinking. Not all are endowed with the gift of thinking positive all the time and be able to ward off all shades of negative thoughts. Sometimes negative thoughts are just there, no matter what. I read somewhere, that if a person can be just conscience that the thoughts are negative, then, that is good enough of a thought, sans the effects of negativity. 

 

Negative thinking is also a very powerful tool in risk analysis. The jargon there is a conscience effort to think of the “worst case scenario”. Thus, as long as one is conscience of the thoughts being negative, one is to a great extent free of the ills accompanying negative thoughts.

 

The entire water in the ocean does not sink the ship. It is only when the water gets in, then the ship sinks. All negative thoughts or negative energy does not do any damage to ourselves, but it is only when it gets in, does the damage start to happen.

 

I am not worried just because some negative thoughts are nagging me sometimes. I am aware that they are negative thoughts and must be dealt with accordingly. I need to just dismiss the thoughts as they come and feel happy, that I have not allowed it to “get in” my persona.

I think this is the key to dealing with Negative thinking.

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Negative thinking is relevant. It is a fallacy to think you should “Always Think positive” or that you should “Never Think Negative” because of the idea that if you think negative then negative things will happen to you. This will only cause you to become more timid, fearful and an emotional wreck. What you resist persists.   The best way to deal with negative thinking is to think positively about it. Accept and be aware that you are allowing the presence of negative thoughts, and you will no longer feel so bad about them. There is nothing wrong with negative thoughts. When you know what you do not want, it helps you get clear of what you do want. So treat negative thoughts positively and you will feel more positive. The true way to harmonious thinking is to be natural about it. When you have negative feelings because of certain situations, do not think “I should not be feeling this way.” It won’t work, and when you attempt to override these feelings with positive ones, you are not acting naturally and that is why you continue to experience much resistance. You should think “This is exactly how I should be feeling.” Accept how you feel and then you’ll feel better. Give vent to your negative emotion when needed and rightfully so. Then you’ll feel relief, and relief is the key to removing resistance and allowing your vibrational state to shift.   Magic is the act of causing change in accordance with will. Use your feeling and desire to direct your will and energy towards the target with the intent of the change that you want to happen. Only when you accept and use the negative can you move on to a more positive state.     Most of us are familiar with psychiatry, counselling,  psychology, and other mental health services. The methods used are standard. Most professionals prod the patient into expressing repressed feelings- anger, hatred, envy, resentment and related emotions, including repressed sexuality and sexual feelings.   Acknowledging these repressed emotions sheds new light on the origins of serious hang-ups, neuroses, compulsions/obsessions and other serious mental health disorders. Many physical ailments are brought about by repressed emotions. Some of these end in death. These have a very detrimental effect upon one’s soul and spiritual being as well. Author unknown. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Every Night We Go To Bed, We Have No Assurance To Get Up Alive In The Next Morning But Still You Have Plans For The Coming Day; That's Hope!   As long as Hope is kept alive, negative thoughts will be short lived. Pack the day with plans, hope and trust.   ============================================================ The other side, that we are exposed to always, On positive thinking.     Positive thoughts are those thoughts which give us and others the experience of our original virtues like peace, love, bliss, happiness, etc. They enable you to accumulate inner strength and equip you to be constructive. Positive thoughts are always beneficial in all circumstances, without trapping you in the external appearance of a situation.  Thinking positively does not mean ignoring the reality of your world and living in a fantasy or longing to be another person. For example, if you were to repeat over and over again, "I am well, am well," when you were ill, this is not what we mean by positive thinking. Thinking positively involves looking at problems and recognizing reality,  but at the same time being able to find solutions without becoming  obsessed or confused. This often requires tolerance, patience and  common sense. A person who thinks positively is aware of the weaknesses of others,  but even then will direct their attention towards their positive  characteristics. Positive thoughts make you happy and as a result your expectations of  others decrease. This does not mean that they do not matter to you, but  that you no longer demand love, respect, recognition, or even calm,  from them, and it makes your relationships that much easier. This is  the best way to create long-lasting and harmonious relationships. When  you have inner happiness, you have the strength to accept other people  as they are without wanting them to be different. This acceptance  produces more peaceful relationships. With the positive attitude you  create, you can offer yourself to other people just the way you are, with  your virtues and limitations, without pretense. Your body also benefits greatly, since when you have a balanced,  harmonious mind you are less susceptible to illnesses. A person who  has many useless thoughts will often feel very tired because they are  spending their energy in creating thousands of unnecessary and  inefficient thoughts. Your mind is strengthened and healed by being nourished with positive  thoughts. A healthy mind is the basis of a balanced personality.    Thank you, Jimmy.

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Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

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Worry is misuse of imagination. Dan Zadra.

 

MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/

Confessions of a failed manager ?

SHARED THOUGHTS………..06.10.2012.

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Some of my younger friends have been asking me to pen my thoughts or my experiences from the lessons learnt in my years of managing business and people.  This very brief introspection is for them.

 

I have not been a great successful Manager. I lacked many qualities that could be ascribed to being one. But did I succeed in what I was doing or did I fail? 

Honestly looking within, I can confess, I have come a long way from the naïve sheepish looking fresher of the ‘70s… coming a long way happens even by default, when one lives that long. Yes, I am a failure as a Manager, is what I want to convey.

And I know the reasons for that failure.

It is Success.

 

I succeeded beyond the expectations of those employed by me, or partnered with me in recent times and that was the reason for my failure.

 

The bottom line is that I failed to capitalize on the success achieved by my Team.

 

In the first instance, I failed to synchronize my team’s target with that of the Company’s..a mere 25-30% growth would have satisfied the Co’ management; my team achieved over 150%. That mis-match in perception caused the failure that happened very soon.

 

In the second instance, from a total new beginning, within one year, my new team achieved a near miracle, close to being the market leader, relegating my previous company into a non-entity.. However, the Investor had other ideas seeing this success.. I failed to read the developments leading to a hostile take-over by the Investor, right under my nose.

 

In the third instance, I put together yet another new team and started anew in another region, totally alien to me and the team, with a new investor. Within a short time, my team achieved another near miracle, close to being the market leader. The investor had other ideas seeing this success. I failed to see the conspiracy between the investor and my own team member to collude, right under my nose. 

 

Similarities aplenty, right?  The point is success in itself is not success. In business, Success is to succeed AND managing people. No wonder Management is defined as Manage-men-t ; how to ‘manage men in real time’

 

 

A pilot’s skill is irrelevant, without an airplane. An airplane is nothing, without a pilot. The success of the pilot is in navigating AND understanding that all the mechanisms are doing their respective functions expected of them. Disaster is not far off, if the pilot is oblivious to erring parts in the system

 

I have been only a good success in managing business, but a failure over managing people…reading the minds, check-mating and overcoming the scheming, plotting, conspiracy of people around me. As flowers attract the honey bees, success attracts jealousy, envy, greed and resentment. If one cannot see these taking roots, then that is a failure.

 

Reflecting upon this truth, I realize that the single most important reason for my failure is my inability to speak frankly or bluntly, when required. 

 

Two Weakness of a person
one - to be silent when it is proper time to speak.
second - to speak when it is proper time to be silent.

 

I came across the following as some of the reasons for management failure. From my experience, I would rate the inability for a tough plain talk, as the most significant  contributor for failure.

 

Most common reasons for managerial failure.

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You aren't very good at tough conversations

A manager needs to have tough conversations, make decisions that may be unpopular, and enforce standards and consequences. If you shy away from difficult conversations--or the opposite, if you're too aggressive and confrontational in them--you likely won't be seen as manager material.

 

You don't look the part.

It might seem superficial and unfair, but appearances really do count. You might get away with pushing your office's dress code to the limit, but it's probably impacting the way people perceive you and what opportunities you're offered.

 

You're terrible at time management

Managers need to keep track not only of their work, but also keep track of other people's too. If you can't stay on top of your own projects, your employer isn't likely to have faith that you'll be able to monitor the work of an entire team.

 

You gossip or are part of a clique.

Managers need to be unbiased and objective--and not only that, they need to appear unbiased too. If you've already crossed professional boundaries within the office, it will be difficult to rebuild those lines as a manager.

 

You don't know how to prioritize

Managers need to look at a landscape of dozens of possible projects and identify the most important ones to spend time and resources on--and then stay focused on those goals without letting distractions intervene. If you already have trouble figuring out the best place to spend your time, the problems would only compound.

 

You don't manage your own boss well

The ability to manage upward gets more and more important as you move up the ladder. If you're not skilled at managing your relationship with your manager now--including communicating well, getting aligned on expectations, it's likely to hold you back from higher-level roles.

 

You're a complainer

Managers need to have the maturity and perspective to understand how policies that might be annoying still serve the larger good of the company. They also need the judgment to raise concerns professionally and through the correct channels, rather than sharing them with anyone who will listen.

 

You do your job duties and nothing else

Average work might satisfy the requirements of your current job, but it's not enough to get you promoted. Promotions go to people who go above and beyond the minimum and seek out ways to improve constantly.

 

You don't make your accomplishments visible

You might be doing a fantastic job, but if no one knows that, you won't be rewarded for it. So don't be shy about sharing accomplishments with your manager, whether it's rave reviews from a client or a tricky problem that you solved before it caused damage.

 

(extracts from web)

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Life is similar to a Boxing game..

Defeat is NOT declared when you fall down;

It is declared when you refuse to ‘Get Up’!

 

I have indeed Got Up every time I was felled or thought to have been defeated. This I consider is my success and a blessing. “Pulling together” a new team is not easy, but it happened just when one was needed; as at present, I am with a new team, hoping to sustain the success we are riding now, from the lessons learnt.

 

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In any Team, members must share the same vision. The team leader’s vision. Any mis-alignment is a recipe for disaster, sooner or later. Rotten apples are everywhere, if one is in the Team, then the Team is rotten. To identify and remove the rotten apple, determines the success of the Team Leader. 

 

TEAM WORK.

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None of us is as smart as all of us. ……… Ken Blanchard.

 

If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself. Henry Ford.

 

It is not a question of how well each person / process is working, the question is how well they are working together.  Lloyd Dobem.

 

Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. Henry Ford.

 

Talent wins games. Teamwork & intelligence wins Championships. Michael Jordan.

 

Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much. Helen Keller.

 

Finally, WHEN “I” IS REPLACED BY “WE”, EVEN ILLNESS BECOMES WELLNESS.

 

( Thank you Moh’d Al Saad) .

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PULLING TOGETHER.

 

What sets a successful organization apart from its competitors? You can bet having a successful team is at the foundation of the answer.

 

Are you putting your Team first? Do your team members really understand your overall vision? Do team members know what is expected of them? How can each team member contribute most effectively.   What constants hold the team together?

 

At the center of every high performance team is a common purpose – a mission that rises above and beyond each of the individual team members. To be successful, the team’s interests and needs come first.  Effective team players understand that personal issues and personality differences are secondary to team demands. His does not mean abandoning who you are or giving up your individuality. 

 

On the contrary it means sharing your unique strengths and differences to move the team forward.

 

High performance teams recognize that it takes a joint effort to synergize, generating power above and beyond the collected individuals. It is with this spirit of co-operation that effective teams  learn to capitalize on individual strengths and offset individual weaknesses, using diversity as an advantage.

 

Effective teams also understand the importance of establishing cooperative systems, structure, incentives, and rewards. We get what we inspect, not what we expect. Think about it. Apart from individual job descriptions, there must be Team job description, Team performance reviews and Team reward systems.

 

Team First Rule: to embrace Team First rule, make sure your team purpose and priorities are clear, overall mission is shared by all in the Team. Team game plan is discussed and agreed. What is expected of each Team member is well understood.

 

Courtesy. Mac Anderson / John Murphy.

 

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Have a good weekend,

 

 

MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/