Give & Take.

SHARED THOUGHTS…..21.07.12.

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A Precious Gift.

A wise woman who was travelling in the mountains found a precious stone in a 
stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise 
woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious 
stone and asked the woman to give it to him. 

She did so without hesitation.

The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth 
enough to give him security for a life-time. But, a few days later, he came back 
to return the stone to the wise woman.

 

“I've been thinking”, he said. “I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone”.
 
Only a man of wisdom can realize thus.............

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What is intriguing is what makes a person capable of “Giving”… it is a gift for being able to “Give”…unconditionally and without any expectations in return. 

 

Perhaps, not all of us are endowed with this ‘gift’ in its ultimate dimension as the woman, but on a more down-to-earth level, we all live within a ‘give & take’ pattern, to make a relationship meaningful and lasting or otherwise.

 

“I never expected you would do this to me”… is a common phrase everyone of us may have used at some time or other. The less you have had chance to say this, the more satisfying your relationship and the more you have said this, it’s time to review why this is happening.

 

Life is all about relationships… there is no life in isolation. One relates to something or other around him. A relationship can be born out of emotions - love, hate, compassion… and there are relationships based on need or a shared motive sans emotions.

 

Either of the two can be built only on Trust, the very foundation to a relationship. If one cannot trust another, don’t even attempt to build a relationship. Once the equations are understood, then comes the hard part – “Give and take” - a simple expression easier said than done, but this is the basis for any relationship to flourish or flounder

 

Give & Take –  is the binder for a relationship.. on the contrary, if it is all give or all take, it will crack the relationship sooner than later.

 

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“All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. 

Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For then, it is all give and no take”.. ( or all take and no give)..

Gandhi.

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A beautiful message of Trust ........ (from my archives – Feb.2008.)
  
A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of
scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." 

 

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." 

"What's the difference?" asked the puzzled father?

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.

"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let
your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its
bond.

This message is too short.......but carries a lot of Feelings..  Naturally
therefore question arises .. is this Trust only applicable in personal
relationship within family or does this hold true outside the family.??

Thoughts to ponder - "Trust" of any nature - whether within family members,
business partners, brothers / sisters, friends or in any kind of
'relationship' - is a two way path. 'give & take' trust.. ; I recall a good
quote - 

WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE, TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT....... AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO -  
EITHER  A LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON.

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In trust..  be sincere. 
  
 A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her.
 
 The boy told the girl that he would give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed. The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.
 
 That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn’t sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.
 
Moral.
If you don’t give your hundred percent in a relationship, you’ll always keep doubting if the other person has given his / her hundred percent..
This is applicable for any relationship like love, friendship, employer-employee, partnerships, parent-children, etc.,
Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully. 
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 now for a second look.... 
  
1. The boy and the girl meet the next day… the boy questions if the girl had given him all the sweets, as he had demanded  (not as he had given, mind you)…… the girl  says “yes, of course, I have”…  the boy does not believe… but accepts the answer as insincere ….  The girl is hurt, but cannot do anything about this,  or..

2. Both the boy and girl had given each other all they had.. of marbles and sweets, yet, one of them doubts  the other ?!... or

3. How can the girl convince the boy (in either of the two scenario) that she  had given all her sweets.........and what does it take for the boy to be convinced….. is it possible at all, for one to convince the other of one’s sincerity?
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Sincerity is not a tangible action that can be proved true or false, but an inbuilt way of life….it comes from within...
sincerity can only be proved with Time…. and ‘disproved’ with Impatience, immaturity, never ending doubts .... may be…. It’s in the mind of the perceiver not to see sincerity of the other. 
  
To me, sincerity is …. 
The result of living with what is right from wrong, truth from falsehood, good from bad in all walks of life… thought, speech and action… it need not be shown or seen, and there is no need to convince one in sincere. 

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 ITS NOT WHAT I AM THOUGHT OF, BUT WHAT I AM, THAT IS IMPORTANT. 
  
DON’T EXPLAIN, FRIENDS DON’T NEED IT, ENEMIES WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT. 
  

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In giving, the compulsive normal first thought is… “what’s in it for me?”  

 

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think, can do nothing for them.

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enough of  “give & take”,

 

Enjoy your weekend … no harm, try putting a smile on someone, who can do nothing for you.

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MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/

 

01.07.12. missing our son on his birthday.

SHARED THOUGHTS………01..07.2012

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For the rest of our lives, my family will live to see every year, a July 01- that to us, brings memories that will always stay fresh. Time heals they say, of the wounds inflicted by Life, but Time also shields, the best moments from fading. Among such moments are the birth of a son. The pains of labor, an agonizing wait as he was overdue by 8 days, the moments of joy to hold him in our arms, when the pain was all over..…God’s answer to our prayers.

 

Now, it’s all over for us, the pain lingers... and we pray for answers from God..... past 5 years, we hold him dear and close, only in our memories that Time cannot steal, nor dim as years roll by..

Time heals, in that we have stopped questioning and slowly accepted that he was unique and served the purpose for which he was our son, for 29 years, during which he also lived the roles of a loving husband, a dear daddy, all in small measures and for some mysterious unknown purpose, that Time cannot tell.

 

LIFE BECOMES LIVABLE, ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT DEATH IS TREATED AS A FRIEND, NEVER  AS AN ENEMY.

 

Experiencing the process of death with one you love will take you into a bigger, more expansive dimension of being-ness. 

Some humbling lessons to live by…always, always share your love with your loved ones, nurture and develop clean healthy relationships which are easy and a pleasure to maintain, never try to live up to anyone else’s expectations, other than your own..  on this July 1^st, we will remember our beloved son, for these valuable lessons he lived by. 

 

To say A Final Goodbye is never easy, but when we show our love here on Earth, we can be more prepared when we lose a loved one.

 

 

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The following words of wisdom from my e-friend, helped to accept this truth. Thank you Ram Ganeshan.

Quote....I was reading about how each soul chooses their parents to experience and exhaust the fruits of it's Karmas to be experienced by a gross body. This makes us think how unique each one of us is. We may have waited seconds, minutes, years or even yugaas (eons) to match our Karmas with an appropriate pair of human beings dwelling in a circumstance conducive to exhaust our Karmas. So each individual is extremely unique, absolutely cannot be duplicated. Nobody is exactly like us in any way. This is true not only spiritually but also scientifically. 

 

Along with the awareness of how unique we are, how unique our relationship with Bhagavan (the Lord Supreme)  is, our scriptures encourages us to think the uniqueness of others. Even the most dreadful looking or ugly looking animal has this uniqueness and it' has a very unique relationship with the Almighty. All of us are strung on the same thread of Bhagavan's apaara mahima or unlimited divinity. Bhagavan (Lord) Himself said: 

 

mattah parataram nanyat

kincid asti dhananjaya

mayi sarvam idam protam

sutre mani-gana iva

 

O Dhananjaya*, there is no truth superior to Me. Everything rests upon Me, as pearls are strung on a thread.

 

God is like a string going through  the soul-pearls of all. He is the invisible string holding this great necklace of Mother Nature. 

 

The small pearls shining with extraordinary brilliance among the big pearls are the children of this world. They are uniquely precious and should be nurtured with all love and kindness. 

 

May Bhagavan bless to be aware of the uniqueness and respect the uniqueness of all including ourselves!.....unquote. 

 

( *The warrior prince in the Bhagavad-Gita to whom Lord Krishna expounds the nature of being, the nature of God, and the way humans can come to know God).

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Some things happen, like it is not supposed to happen that way. For us, we are not supposed to have outlived our dear son. But then, that is Life and our Karma.

 

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Everyone is unique..  and serves a purpose that is also unique…  pearls of wisdom from Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

 

You are a Masterpiece "A plum once said, 'just because a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana. Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became an apple, but he went in search of grapes. Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no more know who I am.  How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover.' Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are, there is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You need to think good of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate.  Never stoop down in order to gain recognition. Never let go of your true self to win a relationship. In the long run, you will regret that you traded your greatest Glory - your uniqueness, for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many people. The group that does not accept you as YOU is not Your world. There is a world for each one of you, where you shall reign as king /queen by just being yourself. Find that world... In fact, that world will find You. What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold cannot.  The fragility of the ant enables it to move and the rigidity of the tree enables it to stay rooted. Everything and everybody has been designed with a Proportion of uniqueness to serve a purpose that we can fulfill only by being our unique self. You as you alone can serve your purpose and I as I alone can serve my purpose.  You are here to be you... Just YOU. There was a time in this world when a Krishna was required and he was sent; A time when a Christ was required and he was sent; a time when a Mahatma was required and he was sent;  There came a time when you were required on this planet and hence you were sent. Let us be the best we can be.

In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like you and to the infinity of time to come, there will be no one like you.  Existence should have loved you so much that it broke the mould after making you, so that another of your kind will never get repeated. 

 

You are original. You are rare. You are unique. You are a wonder. You are a masterpiece. .. Your  Master's piece. Celebrate your Uniqueness."

 

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Long after
 
Long after the kind word is spoken, the encouragement remains. 

Long after the good deed is done, the goodness lingers on.
 
Long after the moment passes, the joy continues. 

Long after the lesson is learned, wisdom keeps growing.
 
What you do in this moment brings value not only to this moment. 

Much of the value you create now can stay with you always.
 
The truth of who you are, and of what you do, accumulates as time goes on. 

That’s why staying focused on what’s truly important can bring such spectacular results.
 
The sooner you make the effort, the more its power can be multiplied. 

Value continues to build on top of value, so the best thing you can do right now is create some more of it.
 
Long after this moment is gone, you can be profoundly thankful for the way you lived it. 

This is your chance to make it count, now and long after.
 
Ralph Marston

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Winning horse doesn’t know why it runs in race,

It runs because of beats and pains.

Life is a race, God is your rider.
So if you are in pain think God wants you to win.

 

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I have my race to win…. How about you ?

Enjoy the race, now and always.

 

 

MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/