Positives of negative thoughts.

 

SHARED THOUGHTS......20.10.12.
============================

 

Some of the books that influenced me in early days, were Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking, the “How to…” series from Dale Carnegie, Desmond Hill’s Law of Success, et al.

 

Positive thinking is perhaps the most widely written subject; but nowhere is much thought given to the ‘harmlessness’ of negative thinking. Not all are endowed with the gift of thinking positive all the time and be able to ward off all shades of negative thoughts. Sometimes negative thoughts are just there, no matter what. I read somewhere, that if a person can be just conscience that the thoughts are negative, then, that is good enough of a thought, sans the effects of negativity. 

 

Negative thinking is also a very powerful tool in risk analysis. The jargon there is a conscience effort to think of the “worst case scenario”. Thus, as long as one is conscience of the thoughts being negative, one is to a great extent free of the ills accompanying negative thoughts.

 

The entire water in the ocean does not sink the ship. It is only when the water gets in, then the ship sinks. All negative thoughts or negative energy does not do any damage to ourselves, but it is only when it gets in, does the damage start to happen.

 

I am not worried just because some negative thoughts are nagging me sometimes. I am aware that they are negative thoughts and must be dealt with accordingly. I need to just dismiss the thoughts as they come and feel happy, that I have not allowed it to “get in” my persona.

I think this is the key to dealing with Negative thinking.

===========================================================

Negative thinking is relevant. It is a fallacy to think you should “Always Think positive” or that you should “Never Think Negative” because of the idea that if you think negative then negative things will happen to you. This will only cause you to become more timid, fearful and an emotional wreck. What you resist persists.   The best way to deal with negative thinking is to think positively about it. Accept and be aware that you are allowing the presence of negative thoughts, and you will no longer feel so bad about them. There is nothing wrong with negative thoughts. When you know what you do not want, it helps you get clear of what you do want. So treat negative thoughts positively and you will feel more positive. The true way to harmonious thinking is to be natural about it. When you have negative feelings because of certain situations, do not think “I should not be feeling this way.” It won’t work, and when you attempt to override these feelings with positive ones, you are not acting naturally and that is why you continue to experience much resistance. You should think “This is exactly how I should be feeling.” Accept how you feel and then you’ll feel better. Give vent to your negative emotion when needed and rightfully so. Then you’ll feel relief, and relief is the key to removing resistance and allowing your vibrational state to shift.   Magic is the act of causing change in accordance with will. Use your feeling and desire to direct your will and energy towards the target with the intent of the change that you want to happen. Only when you accept and use the negative can you move on to a more positive state.     Most of us are familiar with psychiatry, counselling,  psychology, and other mental health services. The methods used are standard. Most professionals prod the patient into expressing repressed feelings- anger, hatred, envy, resentment and related emotions, including repressed sexuality and sexual feelings.   Acknowledging these repressed emotions sheds new light on the origins of serious hang-ups, neuroses, compulsions/obsessions and other serious mental health disorders. Many physical ailments are brought about by repressed emotions. Some of these end in death. These have a very detrimental effect upon one’s soul and spiritual being as well. Author unknown. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Every Night We Go To Bed, We Have No Assurance To Get Up Alive In The Next Morning But Still You Have Plans For The Coming Day; That's Hope!   As long as Hope is kept alive, negative thoughts will be short lived. Pack the day with plans, hope and trust.   ============================================================ The other side, that we are exposed to always, On positive thinking.     Positive thoughts are those thoughts which give us and others the experience of our original virtues like peace, love, bliss, happiness, etc. They enable you to accumulate inner strength and equip you to be constructive. Positive thoughts are always beneficial in all circumstances, without trapping you in the external appearance of a situation.  Thinking positively does not mean ignoring the reality of your world and living in a fantasy or longing to be another person. For example, if you were to repeat over and over again, "I am well, am well," when you were ill, this is not what we mean by positive thinking. Thinking positively involves looking at problems and recognizing reality,  but at the same time being able to find solutions without becoming  obsessed or confused. This often requires tolerance, patience and  common sense. A person who thinks positively is aware of the weaknesses of others,  but even then will direct their attention towards their positive  characteristics. Positive thoughts make you happy and as a result your expectations of  others decrease. This does not mean that they do not matter to you, but  that you no longer demand love, respect, recognition, or even calm,  from them, and it makes your relationships that much easier. This is  the best way to create long-lasting and harmonious relationships. When  you have inner happiness, you have the strength to accept other people  as they are without wanting them to be different. This acceptance  produces more peaceful relationships. With the positive attitude you  create, you can offer yourself to other people just the way you are, with  your virtues and limitations, without pretense. Your body also benefits greatly, since when you have a balanced,  harmonious mind you are less susceptible to illnesses. A person who  has many useless thoughts will often feel very tired because they are  spending their energy in creating thousands of unnecessary and  inefficient thoughts. Your mind is strengthened and healed by being nourished with positive  thoughts. A healthy mind is the basis of a balanced personality.    Thank you, Jimmy.

============================================================ 

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

 --------------------------------------------------------------------

Worry is misuse of imagination. Dan Zadra.

 

MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/

Confessions of a failed manager ?

SHARED THOUGHTS………..06.10.2012.

=================================

 

Some of my younger friends have been asking me to pen my thoughts or my experiences from the lessons learnt in my years of managing business and people.  This very brief introspection is for them.

 

I have not been a great successful Manager. I lacked many qualities that could be ascribed to being one. But did I succeed in what I was doing or did I fail? 

Honestly looking within, I can confess, I have come a long way from the naïve sheepish looking fresher of the ‘70s… coming a long way happens even by default, when one lives that long. Yes, I am a failure as a Manager, is what I want to convey.

And I know the reasons for that failure.

It is Success.

 

I succeeded beyond the expectations of those employed by me, or partnered with me in recent times and that was the reason for my failure.

 

The bottom line is that I failed to capitalize on the success achieved by my Team.

 

In the first instance, I failed to synchronize my team’s target with that of the Company’s..a mere 25-30% growth would have satisfied the Co’ management; my team achieved over 150%. That mis-match in perception caused the failure that happened very soon.

 

In the second instance, from a total new beginning, within one year, my new team achieved a near miracle, close to being the market leader, relegating my previous company into a non-entity.. However, the Investor had other ideas seeing this success.. I failed to read the developments leading to a hostile take-over by the Investor, right under my nose.

 

In the third instance, I put together yet another new team and started anew in another region, totally alien to me and the team, with a new investor. Within a short time, my team achieved another near miracle, close to being the market leader. The investor had other ideas seeing this success. I failed to see the conspiracy between the investor and my own team member to collude, right under my nose. 

 

Similarities aplenty, right?  The point is success in itself is not success. In business, Success is to succeed AND managing people. No wonder Management is defined as Manage-men-t ; how to ‘manage men in real time’

 

 

A pilot’s skill is irrelevant, without an airplane. An airplane is nothing, without a pilot. The success of the pilot is in navigating AND understanding that all the mechanisms are doing their respective functions expected of them. Disaster is not far off, if the pilot is oblivious to erring parts in the system

 

I have been only a good success in managing business, but a failure over managing people…reading the minds, check-mating and overcoming the scheming, plotting, conspiracy of people around me. As flowers attract the honey bees, success attracts jealousy, envy, greed and resentment. If one cannot see these taking roots, then that is a failure.

 

Reflecting upon this truth, I realize that the single most important reason for my failure is my inability to speak frankly or bluntly, when required. 

 

Two Weakness of a person
one - to be silent when it is proper time to speak.
second - to speak when it is proper time to be silent.

 

I came across the following as some of the reasons for management failure. From my experience, I would rate the inability for a tough plain talk, as the most significant  contributor for failure.

 

Most common reasons for managerial failure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

You aren't very good at tough conversations

A manager needs to have tough conversations, make decisions that may be unpopular, and enforce standards and consequences. If you shy away from difficult conversations--or the opposite, if you're too aggressive and confrontational in them--you likely won't be seen as manager material.

 

You don't look the part.

It might seem superficial and unfair, but appearances really do count. You might get away with pushing your office's dress code to the limit, but it's probably impacting the way people perceive you and what opportunities you're offered.

 

You're terrible at time management

Managers need to keep track not only of their work, but also keep track of other people's too. If you can't stay on top of your own projects, your employer isn't likely to have faith that you'll be able to monitor the work of an entire team.

 

You gossip or are part of a clique.

Managers need to be unbiased and objective--and not only that, they need to appear unbiased too. If you've already crossed professional boundaries within the office, it will be difficult to rebuild those lines as a manager.

 

You don't know how to prioritize

Managers need to look at a landscape of dozens of possible projects and identify the most important ones to spend time and resources on--and then stay focused on those goals without letting distractions intervene. If you already have trouble figuring out the best place to spend your time, the problems would only compound.

 

You don't manage your own boss well

The ability to manage upward gets more and more important as you move up the ladder. If you're not skilled at managing your relationship with your manager now--including communicating well, getting aligned on expectations, it's likely to hold you back from higher-level roles.

 

You're a complainer

Managers need to have the maturity and perspective to understand how policies that might be annoying still serve the larger good of the company. They also need the judgment to raise concerns professionally and through the correct channels, rather than sharing them with anyone who will listen.

 

You do your job duties and nothing else

Average work might satisfy the requirements of your current job, but it's not enough to get you promoted. Promotions go to people who go above and beyond the minimum and seek out ways to improve constantly.

 

You don't make your accomplishments visible

You might be doing a fantastic job, but if no one knows that, you won't be rewarded for it. So don't be shy about sharing accomplishments with your manager, whether it's rave reviews from a client or a tricky problem that you solved before it caused damage.

 

(extracts from web)

=========================================================

 

Life is similar to a Boxing game..

Defeat is NOT declared when you fall down;

It is declared when you refuse to ‘Get Up’!

 

I have indeed Got Up every time I was felled or thought to have been defeated. This I consider is my success and a blessing. “Pulling together” a new team is not easy, but it happened just when one was needed; as at present, I am with a new team, hoping to sustain the success we are riding now, from the lessons learnt.

 

======================================================

 

In any Team, members must share the same vision. The team leader’s vision. Any mis-alignment is a recipe for disaster, sooner or later. Rotten apples are everywhere, if one is in the Team, then the Team is rotten. To identify and remove the rotten apple, determines the success of the Team Leader. 

 

TEAM WORK.

=============

 

None of us is as smart as all of us. ……… Ken Blanchard.

 

If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself. Henry Ford.

 

It is not a question of how well each person / process is working, the question is how well they are working together.  Lloyd Dobem.

 

Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. Henry Ford.

 

Talent wins games. Teamwork & intelligence wins Championships. Michael Jordan.

 

Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much. Helen Keller.

 

Finally, WHEN “I” IS REPLACED BY “WE”, EVEN ILLNESS BECOMES WELLNESS.

 

( Thank you Moh’d Al Saad) .

=======================================================

 

PULLING TOGETHER.

 

What sets a successful organization apart from its competitors? You can bet having a successful team is at the foundation of the answer.

 

Are you putting your Team first? Do your team members really understand your overall vision? Do team members know what is expected of them? How can each team member contribute most effectively.   What constants hold the team together?

 

At the center of every high performance team is a common purpose – a mission that rises above and beyond each of the individual team members. To be successful, the team’s interests and needs come first.  Effective team players understand that personal issues and personality differences are secondary to team demands. His does not mean abandoning who you are or giving up your individuality. 

 

On the contrary it means sharing your unique strengths and differences to move the team forward.

 

High performance teams recognize that it takes a joint effort to synergize, generating power above and beyond the collected individuals. It is with this spirit of co-operation that effective teams  learn to capitalize on individual strengths and offset individual weaknesses, using diversity as an advantage.

 

Effective teams also understand the importance of establishing cooperative systems, structure, incentives, and rewards. We get what we inspect, not what we expect. Think about it. Apart from individual job descriptions, there must be Team job description, Team performance reviews and Team reward systems.

 

Team First Rule: to embrace Team First rule, make sure your team purpose and priorities are clear, overall mission is shared by all in the Team. Team game plan is discussed and agreed. What is expected of each Team member is well understood.

 

Courtesy. Mac Anderson / John Murphy.

 

=============================================================

Have a good weekend,

 

 

MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/

 

Success in managing business, but a failure in managing people.

 

SHARED THOUGHTS………..06.10.2012.

=================================

 

Some of my younger friends have been asking me to pen my thoughts or my experiences from the lessons learnt in my years of managing business and people.  This very brief introspection is for them.

 

I have not been a great successful Manager. I lacked many qualities that could be ascribed to being one. But did I succeed in what I was doing or did I fail? 

Honestly looking within, I can confess, I have come a long way from the naïve sheepish looking fresher of the ‘70s… coming a long way happens even by default, when one lives that long. Yes, I am a failure as a Manager, is what I want to convey.

And I know the reasons for that failure.

It is Success.

 

I succeeded beyond the expectations of those employed by me, or partnered with me in recent times and that was the reason for my failure.

 

The bottom line is that I failed to capitalize on the success achieved by my Team.

 

In the first instance, I failed to synchronize my team’s target with that of the Company’s..a mere 25-30% growth would have satisfied the Co’ management; my team achieved over 150%. That mis-match in perception caused the failure that happened very soon.

 

In the second instance, from a total new beginning, within one year, my new team achieved a near miracle, close to being the market leader, relegating my previous company into a non-entity.. However, the Investor had other ideas seeing this success.. I failed to read the developments leading to a hostile take-over by the Investor, right under my nose.

 

In the third instance, I put together yet another new team and started anew in another region, totally alien to me and the team, with a new investor. Within a short time, my team achieved another near miracle, close to being the market leader. The investor had other ideas seeing this success. I failed to see the conspiracy between the investor and my own team member to collude, right under my nose. 

 

Similarities aplenty, right?  The point is success in itself is not success. In business, Success is to succeed AND managing people. No wonder Management is defined as Manage-men-t ; how to ‘manage men in real time’

 

 

A pilot’s skill is irrelevant, without an airplane. An airplane is nothing, without a pilot. The success of the pilot is in navigating AND understanding that all the mechanisms are doing their respective functions expected of them. Disaster is not far off, if the pilot is oblivious to erring parts in the system

 

I have been only a good success in managing business, but a failure over managing people…reading the minds, check-mating and overcoming the scheming, plotting, conspiracy of people around me. As flowers attract the honey bees, success attracts jealousy, envy, greed and resentment. If one cannot see these taking roots, then that is a failure.

 

Reflecting upon this truth, I realize that the single most important reason for my failure is my inability to speak frankly or bluntly, when required. 

 

Two Weakness of a person
one - to be silent when it is proper time to speak.
second - to speak when it is proper time to be silent.

 

I came across the following as some of the reasons for management failure. From my experience, I would rate the inability for a tough plain talk, as the most significant  contributor for failure.

 

Most common reasons for managerial failure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

You aren't very good at tough conversations

A manager needs to have tough conversations, make decisions that may be unpopular, and enforce standards and consequences. If you shy away from difficult conversations--or the opposite, if you're too aggressive and confrontational in them--you likely won't be seen as manager material.

 

You don't look the part.

It might seem superficial and unfair, but appearances really do count. You might get away with pushing your office's dress code to the limit, but it's probably impacting the way people perceive you and what opportunities you're offered.

 

You're terrible at time management

Managers need to keep track not only of their work, but also keep track of other people's too. If you can't stay on top of your own projects, your employer isn't likely to have faith that you'll be able to monitor the work of an entire team.

 

You gossip or are part of a clique.

Managers need to be unbiased and objective--and not only that, they need to appear unbiased too. If you've already crossed professional boundaries within the office, it will be difficult to rebuild those lines as a manager.

 

You don't know how to prioritize

Managers need to look at a landscape of dozens of possible projects and identify the most important ones to spend time and resources on--and then stay focused on those goals without letting distractions intervene. If you already have trouble figuring out the best place to spend your time, the problems would only compound.

 

You don't manage your own boss well

The ability to manage upward gets more and more important as you move up the ladder. If you're not skilled at managing your relationship with your manager now--including communicating well, getting aligned on expectations, it's likely to hold you back from higher-level roles.

 

You're a complainer

Managers need to have the maturity and perspective to understand how policies that might be annoying still serve the larger good of the company. They also need the judgment to raise concerns professionally and through the correct channels, rather than sharing them with anyone who will listen.

 

You do your job duties and nothing else

Average work might satisfy the requirements of your current job, but it's not enough to get you promoted. Promotions go to people who go above and beyond the minimum and seek out ways to improve constantly.

 

You don't make your accomplishments visible

You might be doing a fantastic job, but if no one knows that, you won't be rewarded for it. So don't be shy about sharing accomplishments with your manager, whether it's rave reviews from a client or a tricky problem that you solved before it caused damage.

 

(extracts from web)

=========================================================

 

Life is similar to a Boxing game..

Defeat is NOT declared when you fall down;

It is declared when you refuse to ‘Get Up’!

 

I have indeed Got Up every time I was felled or thought to have been defeated. This I consider is my success and a blessing. “Pulling together” a new team is not easy, but it happened just when one was needed; as at present, I am with a new team, hoping to sustain the success we are riding now, from the lessons learnt.

 

======================================================

 

In any Team, members must share the same vision. The team leader’s vision. Any mis-alignment is a recipe for disaster, sooner or later. Rotten apples are everywhere, if one is in the Team, then the Team is rotten. To identify and remove the rotten apple, determines the success of the Team Leader. 

 

TEAM WORK.

=============

 

None of us is as smart as all of us. ……… Ken Blanchard.

 

If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself. Henry Ford.

 

It is not a question of how well each person / process is working, the question is how well they are working together.  Lloyd Dobem.

 

Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. Henry Ford.

 

Talent wins games. Teamwork & intelligence wins Championships. Michael Jordan.

 

Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much. Helen Keller.

 

Finally, WHEN “I” IS REPLACED BY “WE”, EVEN ILLNESS BECOMES WELLNESS.

 

( Thank you Moh’d Al Saad) .

=======================================================

 

PULLING TOGETHER.

 

What sets a successful organization apart from its competitors? You can bet having a successful team is at the foundation of the answer.

 

Are you putting your Team first? Do your team members really understand your overall vision? Do team members know what is expected of them? How can each team member contribute most effectively.   What constants hold the team together?

 

At the center of every high performance team is a common purpose – a mission that rises above and beyond each of the individual team members. To be successful, the team’s interests and needs come first.  Effective team players understand that personal issues and personality differences are secondary to team demands. His does not mean abandoning who you are or giving up your individuality. 

 

On the contrary it means sharing your unique strengths and differences to move the team forward.

 

High performance teams recognize that it takes a joint effort to synergize, generating power above and beyond the collected individuals. It is with this spirit of co-operation that effective teams  learn to capitalize on individual strengths and offset individual weaknesses, using diversity as an advantage.

 

Effective teams also understand the importance of establishing cooperative systems, structure, incentives, and rewards. We get what we inspect, not what we expect. Think about it. Apart from individual job descriptions, there must be Team job description, Team performance reviews and Team reward systems.

 

Team First Rule: to embrace Team First rule, make sure your team purpose and priorities are clear, overall mission is shared by all in the Team. Team game plan is discussed and agreed. What is expected of each Team member is well understood.

 

Courtesy. Mac Anderson / John Murphy.

 

=============================================================

Have a good weekend,

 

 

MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/

 

A lesson of Love.

 

SHARED THOUGHTS. … 09.11.12

===============================================================
A Lesson Of Love........

An old woman died after living a long dignified life. When she met God, she
asked him something that had long bothered her. "If Man was created in God's
image, and if all men are created equal, why do people treat each other so
badly?"

God replied that each person who enters our life has a unique lesson to
teach us.

And it is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people,
relationships and God.

 

This confused the woman, so God began to explain.
"When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always as they
seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks
people wear if you want to know their heart. And remove your own masks to
let people know yours.

When someone steals from you, it teaches you that nothing is forever.
Always appreciate what you have, for you never know when you might lose it.
And never, ever take your friends and family for granted because today is
the only guarantee you have.

When someone inflicts an injury upon you, it teaches you that the human
state is a fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best you can,
it's the only thing you are sure to have forever.

When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When
you encounter people who are different from you, don't judge them by how
they look or act; instead base your opinion on the contents of their heart.

When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not
always mean that person will love you back. But don't turn your back on love
because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings will
make up for all the past hurts put together.

When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes
mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is
forgive the offender without pretense.

 

Forgiving those who have hurt us is
the most difficult, the most courageous and the noblest thing Man can do.
When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting
temptation is Man's greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance
against all temptation. By doing so you will be rewarded with an enduring
sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you
were tempted.

When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil.
Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do
not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with
achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.

When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept
people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject
someone for imperfections over which they have no control."

Upon hearing the Lord's wisdom, the old woman became concerned that there
were no lessons to be learned from Man's good deeds. God replied that Man's
capacity to love is the greatest gift he has. At the root of all kindness is
love, and each act of love also teaches us a lesson.

The woman's curiosity deepening, God once again began to explain.
"When someone loves us, it teaches us that love, kindness, charity, honesty,
humility, forgiveness and acceptance can counteract all the evil in the
world. For every good deed, there is one less evil deed. Man alone has the
power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons
of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.

When you enter someone's life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence,
consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of
reality?

When you die, will your life have resulted in more loving or hurting? More
comfort or pain? More joy or sadness? Each one of us has power over the
balance of love in the world. Use it wisely."

A beautiful piece from Joe.. worth remembering as we go along ....

============================================================
KINDNESS IN WORDS, CREATES CONFIDENCE.
KINDNESS IN THINKING, CREATES PROFOUNDNESS.
KINDNESS IN FEELINGS, CREATES LOVE.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

A wise man once sat in the audience and cracked a joke - all of them laughed like crazy.

After a moment he cracked the same joke again & a little less people laughed this time...

He cracked the same joke once again & no one laughed !!!

Then he smiled and said ''when you can't laugh on the same joke again & again

then why do you keep crying over the same thing over & over again''

 

FORGET the past and MOVE ON

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have a pleasant weekend, from Camp...Cape Town, South Africa.

MOHANDAS. KP.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/