Letter to our beloved son.
Dear Lalit,
Ever since we moved back to Kuwait, after a gap of about 3.5 years, I shudder every time I need to go near the building where we lived together happily for a few years. Nearby is the building you moved out into, on the other side of Salmiya. There’s always a heavy lump in my throat and a deluge of happy memories each time I pass by those two buildings.
Even a few days back I passed by your building.. this day, ten years back, we were together, in that very building, celebrating your 29th birthday, until you bid me good bye at the airport, on July 22nd, on your way to Chennai to celebrate your lovely daughter's 1st birthday and then onward to Australia for a new beginning down under.... and somewhere in this beautiful script, how did the destination for you change all of a sudden ...beyond our reach and sight??
6 months of happy living, with the new born… 3.5 years of wonderful years with your chosen spouse… 29 years of being a blessing to us, for us to proudly say, our son.. my son.. in present tense.
God did measure to give you the elixir & goodness of life by the spoonful, didn't He??
I read a poem recently, that I could relate to you, so very easily. The poet (Clark Coates) laments how would it be if he was given 10 minutes to be with his son, who is no more. Many a time, you come in my dreams, you come alive so very much, that in the dream, I wanted to freeze those moments and never wanted you to leave. Therefore, how would it be if I was given 10 minutes to be with you…??
Ten minutes with you.
If I had ten minutes
With you, what
Would I say?
Would it surprise
You, if I said
Nothing, other
Than I love you?
I would just sit
And stare at you.
I would take in
every inch of your
beautiful body.
I would memorise
The shape of your
eyes, mouth and
nose.
I would breathe in
Your scent.
I would hold your
hands and stroke
your skin.
I would hug you
And hold you, and
Wish those ten minutes
Would last for eternity.
But then, how could
I let you go?
I would scream
And cry and beg
You to stay.
My child, I may not
Have that gift of
Time, but I will
Always have you.
You will live in me
My heart, until the
Day I die.
And when I have
Taken my last
Breath, please be
Waiting at the
Heavenly gates.
I will run to you
And sweep you up
In my arms, we will
Swirl and laugh
And giggle.
From that moment,
On we will be
Together FOREVER.
On another positive thought, why should we think that you are not with us?
I was gifted a book titled, Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss. It reinforces the concept of reincarnation. The author resorts to hypnotism to explore the past life via regressions, that lead to para-normal communications supporting concepts of reincarnation as well as an after-life. He concludes the book with the thought that “life is more than what meets the eye”.
We are raised to believe in after-life, even without the research of Brian Weiss. If this be so, then we fervently hope that a day will soon dawn when we can have you in our midst once again, probably on another equation.
Your loving sister is expected to deliver soon, to add a son to the "all-girl-gang of 4"...namely .. the two lovelies here with us…and your charming daughter & her beautiful sister in Delhi... Oh, you must see your daughter now. She is growing up so well under the doting care of her mother & her ‘Appa’.
With the new arrival expected any day, the thought is there in everyone's mind.. your sister, mother and myself.. Can we dare to hope that this is your home coming?? God willing, it may be; who knows.. "Life is more than what meets the eye", right?
Welcome my dear son.
Welcome my dear grandson.
============================== =============================
From the archives – SHARED THOUGHTS – 01.07.2016.
Flood of thoughts
“I wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again.
I thought of you today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday, and the day before too. I think of you in silence ;
I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a photo in a frame.
Your memory is a keepsake from which I’ll never part.
God has you in His arms and I have you in my heart”.
Dear Lalit,
A flood of thoughts today as with every moment of every day… yet, today is special. Today it is your birthday. Cannot believe that today you could be 38 !! In our minds, you have not grown beyond the youthful handsome young man of 29. You will always be ever young, even as Time takes its toll on us.
These days your two lovely nieces, Aarna & Reeva keep us company to help us remain young at heart. Spending time with them, remind us so much of the time we had you as a smart boy of 2 who could use so many words and form nice sentences, similar to the ones the smaller girl Reeva does now.
She reminds me so much of you, as that little chubby fella, to whom I used to tell funny stories, mommy bathing and dressing you to school. The way you used to say “bye” to us as you sit in that rickshaw to school. These days when I put the little one Reeva to sleep on my chest, I remember that is where you were just a few years back… how she cuddles around in her sleep with tight hugs and sometimes crawling all over me…..just the way you used to. You were so chubby and full of baby fat..it was heavenly to hug you and cuddle with you.
I remember the blue trousers and white shirts that I used to iron every morning all those wonderful years. I am so glad I did not frown then and took upon this chore with pleasure knowing that at a later date, I would miss this awfully…but not the way, I miss it now.
I happened to read of a story (given below) where Gandhiji’s grandson was caught lying and his father gave him a punishment that he would never forget. Likewise, I remember you told a white lie to your teacher in KV IIT school and the teacher called us to school to expose your lie.. my punishment to you was, from that day on, I would only believe you no matter what anyone said.. your word would be the final truth. You realized that it was a great responsibility to live up to that level of trust .. yet, you lived up to it wholly. We were always so proud of you that we could communicate with each other so freely as good buddies.
You were our little boy, smart and handsome to college. Gaining knowledge fast and developing a personality of your own, ready to face the world of men and the games people play.
You were still our little boy, even when you matured to take decisions that would shape your destiny; when a lively lovely girl of your dreams came into our fold and soon after, that little bundle of joy… your beautiful daughter now growing up to be a lovely lady in the making, under the incredibly loving watch of your bosom pal. We watch with awe the magical bond binding Ila and her sweet sister Samika growing with each day. You would love that.
Take comfort dear, that those whom you love are well loved and taken care of, in a way you can be proud of. You shall continue to be the guiding light to us as we grope around the void hoping somewhere somehow we can touch you, feel you, hear you and see that mesmerizing wide smile.
With love, from your loved ones ….
“Although we seem so far apart,
You're always here within our hearts.
You filled our lives with joy and pleasure
You were to us a precious treasure.
A little while shall pass and then,
We'll see each other once again.
Loved, remembered and held so dear,
In minds and hearts you're always here”.
You're always here within our hearts.
You filled our lives with joy and pleasure
You were to us a precious treasure.
A little while shall pass and then,
We'll see each other once again.
Loved, remembered and held so dear,
In minds and hearts you're always here”.
============================== ============================== ===
Mohandas Kizhakke
