========================================= ====================
SHARED THOTS...........20/09/08.
==============================================================
life without joy – one year – an introspection...
--------------------------------------------------------------
From the skies of life,
tearing the clouds of sadness there comes a ray of hope.
Enlightens our world and gives us strength to cope.
It fills in light. It fills in strength And teaches us never to bend.
It makes us smile. It brings us joy.
Makes us as happy as a child with toy.
A Ray of Hope is as beam of light which removes from our lives the darkest night.
(Pravsworld)
===================================== ==========================
Our darkest night, 20th Sept, will live with us through every day of our life....
over the past few months, I have shared with you all, the impact of that night in our lives, thoughts and actions… more as a treatise to coping with such unexpected twists of fortune in our lives.....
Many have responded with their own perceptions and I thank them and others for their words of comfort.
On a recent visit to Sydney, I was asked a very thought provoking question by my dear niece, how we are coping with the loss as days go by... What will comfort us.... what are we seeking.... and so on….
We really do not know what we are seeking...or if we are seeking any answers at all…!!
I remember a colleague of mine in the '80s, lost his brother in a road accident ; his father then, at about my age, was devastated and lost his mental balance. He is still around, but with no feelings... almost crippled ever since that accident day.
As opposed to this, we have faced the change of fortune in our lives in a way, everyone says we should, but yet people may even mistake… that the tragedy has not hit us hard...or for that matter, sometimes, even making us wonder, if there is something wrong with us....are we normal or how abnormal are we before other people who are just incapable of understanding what we are going through.. …
For us, the first few days were surreal, with so many people around and things to go thru ; the real loss dawned upon us as days went by, when we tried to go back to our lives.... and tried to look ahead.... it was then the total impact of the stress and strain of bereavement became a reality..... That had to be endured.... but how?
There is this QED formula I adopt to be able to cope with this stress ; ie – ‘ reductio ad absurdum’ theory, which we have learnt in solving theorems in Geometry.... reducing rationale or reality into absurdity ; in short, to reduce our mental feelings to the level of near zero or in other words, near animal feelings.
A herd of bison going in the African plains, do have a ruffle, when one in the group get caught by a predator ; they do not turn back , but just go forward, they go on and on ; this attitude...of just going forward, is what has enabled me to live with the stress; there is no other choice…..
We grieve because we have set for ourselves certain rules of life. We ‘expect’ that our children should outlive us; we ‘expect’ they will be healthy in growing up; we ‘expect’ they will be well behaved ; we ‘expect’ they will continue to love us- parents, all thru; we ‘expect’ they will be successful in life & well settled ; we ‘expect’ they will take care of us -parents, in our old age… and so on... Life being a journey full of expectations, that we have set for ourselves… and when that journey goes off course, and the destination we have expected to see, is not there anymore, we panic, worry, cry and lose our way in grief and become blind to see the road ahead...
Accepting the change and looking for a new destination is a real challenge that requires every ounce of positive energy & thoughts, coupled with near absence of negative thoughts, total focus on new or changed priorities ; a high sense of responsibility ; honest approach to changed situations and above all, total family support and understanding.
Our ancient texts are rich with several clues to the mystery of life, purpose, etc.
From a philosophical point of view, it is believed that when a person dies young, it is because, he has to take just one more birth, a short one at that, before his soul attains salvation .... he has to fulfill certain obligations early in life and its time to go... in that perspective, we may be fortunate enough to be the parents of a soul that has attained ‘moksha’ or liberation from the cycle of birth & rebirth..… may be God has chosen us to be the privileged parents for this distinction... we may not realize it if we continue to grieve, but will find consolation and peace, if we accept this view point.
I read recently, about a lady who was grieving... until one morning when she woke up, she looked out of the window and suddenly a realization dawned upon her, that instead of grieving over a loss, however important in her life, which cannot be retrieved, there are so many other wonderful blessings she should be thankful to God... so she set a pattern every day, to write down everything, however small or significant, that she should thank God for.... and then she found to her amazement, this process gave her peace and strength more than all the words of consolation from all friends, relatives combined.
Truly, we can find peace and strength from the belief that God has blessed us with a wonderful soul as our son .. who in his short and healthy life, had endeared himself to everyone around and gave us only good times and happy moments to share, remember and preserve in our memory and … meeting his destiny was the way, God had willed, for him to attain ‘moksha’.... which may not suit our mortal ‘expectations’ we have set for ourselves ; but in the Divine Dispensation, he HAD to keep his tryst with Destiny.
Like for everyone else, we too have many a thing to thank God for, even in our grief, that we can count as His blessings… which we can see only when our eyes are set to see them…
Knowing all these and living by these thoughts, I don’t know to what extent, any philosophy can infuse more strength for us to face the change... Or if there are any more answers that we can seek....
============================================= ========================
And that the mud will be made to be flowers and fruits
And the fruits and flowers will be made to mud and dirt.
If not for adjustment and compromise,
Our physical body in this physical world
Won’t last more than a second.
We have to learn, teach and train ourselves
To be no-one and nothing,
To be unknown and uselessly purposeless.
I am very happy to have one very good friend.
Let him be the symbol of "virtue and beauty"
Understanding and being understood.
Raheem:
===============================================================
have a good peaceful week end.
Mohandas.
camp Bangalore.
SHARED THOTS...........20/09/08.
==============================================================
life without joy – one year – an introspection...
--------------------------------------------------------------
From the skies of life,
tearing the clouds of sadness there comes a ray of hope.
Enlightens our world and gives us strength to cope.
It fills in light. It fills in strength And teaches us never to bend.
It makes us smile. It brings us joy.
Makes us as happy as a child with toy.
A Ray of Hope is as beam of light which removes from our lives the darkest night.
(Pravsworld)
===================================== ==========================
Our darkest night, 20th Sept, will live with us through every day of our life....
over the past few months, I have shared with you all, the impact of that night in our lives, thoughts and actions… more as a treatise to coping with such unexpected twists of fortune in our lives.....
Many have responded with their own perceptions and I thank them and others for their words of comfort.
On a recent visit to Sydney, I was asked a very thought provoking question by my dear niece, how we are coping with the loss as days go by... What will comfort us.... what are we seeking.... and so on….
We really do not know what we are seeking...or if we are seeking any answers at all…!!
I remember a colleague of mine in the '80s, lost his brother in a road accident ; his father then, at about my age, was devastated and lost his mental balance. He is still around, but with no feelings... almost crippled ever since that accident day.
As opposed to this, we have faced the change of fortune in our lives in a way, everyone says we should, but yet people may even mistake… that the tragedy has not hit us hard...or for that matter, sometimes, even making us wonder, if there is something wrong with us....are we normal or how abnormal are we before other people who are just incapable of understanding what we are going through.. …
For us, the first few days were surreal, with so many people around and things to go thru ; the real loss dawned upon us as days went by, when we tried to go back to our lives.... and tried to look ahead.... it was then the total impact of the stress and strain of bereavement became a reality..... That had to be endured.... but how?
There is this QED formula I adopt to be able to cope with this stress ; ie – ‘ reductio ad absurdum’ theory, which we have learnt in solving theorems in Geometry.... reducing rationale or reality into absurdity ; in short, to reduce our mental feelings to the level of near zero or in other words, near animal feelings.
A herd of bison going in the African plains, do have a ruffle, when one in the group get caught by a predator ; they do not turn back , but just go forward, they go on and on ; this attitude...of just going forward, is what has enabled me to live with the stress; there is no other choice…..
We grieve because we have set for ourselves certain rules of life. We ‘expect’ that our children should outlive us; we ‘expect’ they will be healthy in growing up; we ‘expect’ they will be well behaved ; we ‘expect’ they will continue to love us- parents, all thru; we ‘expect’ they will be successful in life & well settled ; we ‘expect’ they will take care of us -parents, in our old age… and so on... Life being a journey full of expectations, that we have set for ourselves… and when that journey goes off course, and the destination we have expected to see, is not there anymore, we panic, worry, cry and lose our way in grief and become blind to see the road ahead...
Accepting the change and looking for a new destination is a real challenge that requires every ounce of positive energy & thoughts, coupled with near absence of negative thoughts, total focus on new or changed priorities ; a high sense of responsibility ; honest approach to changed situations and above all, total family support and understanding.
Our ancient texts are rich with several clues to the mystery of life, purpose, etc.
From a philosophical point of view, it is believed that when a person dies young, it is because, he has to take just one more birth, a short one at that, before his soul attains salvation .... he has to fulfill certain obligations early in life and its time to go... in that perspective, we may be fortunate enough to be the parents of a soul that has attained ‘moksha’ or liberation from the cycle of birth & rebirth..… may be God has chosen us to be the privileged parents for this distinction... we may not realize it if we continue to grieve, but will find consolation and peace, if we accept this view point.
I read recently, about a lady who was grieving... until one morning when she woke up, she looked out of the window and suddenly a realization dawned upon her, that instead of grieving over a loss, however important in her life, which cannot be retrieved, there are so many other wonderful blessings she should be thankful to God... so she set a pattern every day, to write down everything, however small or significant, that she should thank God for.... and then she found to her amazement, this process gave her peace and strength more than all the words of consolation from all friends, relatives combined.
Truly, we can find peace and strength from the belief that God has blessed us with a wonderful soul as our son .. who in his short and healthy life, had endeared himself to everyone around and gave us only good times and happy moments to share, remember and preserve in our memory and … meeting his destiny was the way, God had willed, for him to attain ‘moksha’.... which may not suit our mortal ‘expectations’ we have set for ourselves ; but in the Divine Dispensation, he HAD to keep his tryst with Destiny.
Like for everyone else, we too have many a thing to thank God for, even in our grief, that we can count as His blessings… which we can see only when our eyes are set to see them…
Knowing all these and living by these thoughts, I don’t know to what extent, any philosophy can infuse more strength for us to face the change... Or if there are any more answers that we can seek....
============================================= ========================
And that the mud will be made to be flowers and fruits
And the fruits and flowers will be made to mud and dirt.
If not for adjustment and compromise,
Our physical body in this physical world
Won’t last more than a second.
We have to learn, teach and train ourselves
To be no-one and nothing,
To be unknown and uselessly purposeless.
I am very happy to have one very good friend.
Let him be the symbol of "virtue and beauty"
Understanding and being understood.
Raheem:
===============================================================
have a good peaceful week end.
Mohandas.
camp Bangalore.
