SHARED THOTS...........18/09/08.
===================================================================
Life without joy – three years – an introspection.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thoughts… and more thoughts ….coming in with a vengeance. .. flood of thoughts,
like a deluge unleashing its fury mercilessly on our daily lives, rendering us
helpless before its persistent barrage, about to burst open any time to take us
along to its depth of unfathomable despair….. we fight, we resist, we push
forward with all our strength.... even with the immeasurable sense of
missing..!!
Thoughts…..and more thoughts….. sometimes good ….and more often…. thoughts
difficult to accept….. denial mode continuing……… digging from memories ……
re-living as if we could playback our life and go frame to frame and pause for
the moment to stay on forever…..or to once again enjoy the fragrance of those
lost moments…. As if we could capture or pluck those times, out of our
recollections and once again live those treasured days and nights …and live in
the past for ever and ever… and then the reality strikes …. rudely awakening us
to the present, with a future staring at us… !! we are on an escalator that
pushes you willing or unwilling to go forward .. and forward beckoning us to
meet with our destiny..... NO CHOICE but to go on…
================================================================================================
Living In You
Some things in life never change,
Sometimes in life you don't find reasons,
Some moments in life aren't forgotten,
Sometimes you lose hope...
When time rolls by you to forget
What holds you on...
Some people in life are a part of you,
And when you let them go,
You never lose them.
Because... you find them living in you.
===========================================================================================
( portions of the 2008 dispatch of Shared Thoughts, of the dreaded night.. which
is so relevant as we are about to face that night once again…. It’s a mild
relief to be able to share these thoughts... thank you for your time...)
Our darkest night, 20th Sept, will live with us through every day of our
life....
Over the past ….., I have shared with you all, the impact of that night in our
lives, thoughts and actions… more as a treatise to coping with such unexpected
twists of fortune in our lives.....
On a recent (2008) visit to Sydney, I was asked a very thought provoking
question by my dear niece, how we are coping with the loss as days go by…...
What will comfort us.... what are we seeking.... and so on…. We really do not
know what we are seeking…..or if we are seeking any answers at
all…!!
I remember a colleague of mine in the '80s, lost his brother in a road accident;
his father then, at about my age, was devastated and lost his mental balance. He
is still around, but with no feelings... almost crippled ever since that
accident day.
As opposed to this, we have faced the change of fortune in our lives in a way,
everyone says we should, to the extent, some people may even mistake… that the
tragedy has not hit us hard...or for that matter, sometimes, even making us
wonder, if there is something wrong with us....are we normal or how abnormal are
we before other people who are just incapable of understanding what we are going
through.. … how’s it that we can yet again, smile, joke and go about…?!!
There is this QED formula I adopt to be able to cope with this stress ; ie – ‘
reductio ad absurdum’ theory, which we have learnt in solving theorems in
Geometry.... reducing rationale or reality into absurdity ; in short, to reduce
our mental feelings to the level of near zero or in other words, near animal
feelings.
A herd of bison going in the African plains, do have a ruffle, when one in the
group get caught by a predator ; they do not turn back , but just go forward,
they go on and on ; this attitude...of just going forward, is what has enabled
me to live with the stress; there is no other choice…..
We grieve because we have set for ourselves certain rules of life. We ‘expect
that our children should outlive us; we ‘expect’ they will be healthy in growing
up; we ‘expect’ they will be well behaved ; we ‘expect’ they will continue to
outlive us- parents, all thru; we ‘expect’ they will be successful in life &
well
settled ; we ‘expect’ they will take care of us -parents, in our old age… and so
on... Life being a journey full of expectations, that we have set for
ourselves… and when that journey goes off course, and the destination we have
expected to see, is not there anymore, we panic, worry, cry and lose our way in
grief and become blind to see the road ahead...
Accepting the change and looking for a new destination is a real challenge that
requires every ounce of positive energy & thoughts, coupled with near absence of
negative thoughts, total focus on new or changed priorities ; a high sense of
responsibility ; honest approach to changed situations and above all, total
family & friends’ support and understanding.
………I read recently, about a lady who was grieving...... until one morning when
she woke up, she looked out of the window and suddenly a realization dawned upon
her, that instead of grieving over a loss, however important in her life, which
cannot be retrieved, there are so many other wonderful blessings she should be
thankful to God... so she set a pattern every day, to write down everything,
however small or significant, that she should thank God for.... and then she
found to her amazement, this process gave her peace and strength more than all
the words of consolation from all friends, relatives combined. Truly, we can
find peace and strength from the belief that God has blessed us
with a wonderful soul as our son .. who in his short and healthy life, had
endeared himself to everyone around and gave us only good times and happy
moments to share, remember and preserve in our memory and … meeting his destiny
was the way, God had willed, for him to attain ‘moksha’.... which may not suit
our mortal ‘expectations’ we have set for ourselves ; but in the Divine
Dispensation, he HAD to keep his tryst with Destiny.
As with everyone else, we too have many a thing to thank God for, even in our
grief, that we can count as His blessings… which we can see only when our eyes
are set to see them…Knowing all these and living by these thoughts, I don’t know
to what extent, any philosophy can infuse more strength for us to face the
change... Or if there are any more answers that we can seek....
=======================================================================================
O, Noblest of men, that person of wise judtement equipoised in happiness and
distress whom cannot be disturbed by these is certainly eligible for liberation.
(Bhagawad Gita)
=======================================================================================
I wish I could see through your eyes
so I would know what you like to see.
I wish I knew your wishes,
so I could give you everything you want.
I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do,
and together we could make them come true.
I wish I knew what makes you happy,
so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world.
And lastly, I wish I were a cell in your blood,
so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart.
(How I wished this wish had remained In a present continuous tense…. And not in
a vain past tense).
=================================================================================
Have a peaceful week ahead.
Mohandas.
===================================================================
Life without joy – three years – an introspection.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thoughts… and more thoughts ….coming in with a vengeance. .. flood of thoughts,
like a deluge unleashing its fury mercilessly on our daily lives, rendering us
helpless before its persistent barrage, about to burst open any time to take us
along to its depth of unfathomable despair….. we fight, we resist, we push
forward with all our strength.... even with the immeasurable sense of
missing..!!
Thoughts…..and more thoughts….. sometimes good ….and more often…. thoughts
difficult to accept….. denial mode continuing……… digging from memories ……
re-living as if we could playback our life and go frame to frame and pause for
the moment to stay on forever…..or to once again enjoy the fragrance of those
lost moments…. As if we could capture or pluck those times, out of our
recollections and once again live those treasured days and nights …and live in
the past for ever and ever… and then the reality strikes …. rudely awakening us
to the present, with a future staring at us… !! we are on an escalator that
pushes you willing or unwilling to go forward .. and forward beckoning us to
meet with our destiny..... NO CHOICE but to go on…
================================================================================================
Living In You
Some things in life never change,
Sometimes in life you don't find reasons,
Some moments in life aren't forgotten,
Sometimes you lose hope...
When time rolls by you to forget
What holds you on...
Some people in life are a part of you,
And when you let them go,
You never lose them.
Because... you find them living in you.
===========================================================================================
( portions of the 2008 dispatch of Shared Thoughts, of the dreaded night.. which
is so relevant as we are about to face that night once again…. It’s a mild
relief to be able to share these thoughts... thank you for your time...)
Our darkest night, 20th Sept, will live with us through every day of our
life....
Over the past ….., I have shared with you all, the impact of that night in our
lives, thoughts and actions… more as a treatise to coping with such unexpected
twists of fortune in our lives.....
On a recent (2008) visit to Sydney, I was asked a very thought provoking
question by my dear niece, how we are coping with the loss as days go by…...
What will comfort us.... what are we seeking.... and so on…. We really do not
know what we are seeking…..or if we are seeking any answers at
all…!!
I remember a colleague of mine in the '80s, lost his brother in a road accident;
his father then, at about my age, was devastated and lost his mental balance. He
is still around, but with no feelings... almost crippled ever since that
accident day.
As opposed to this, we have faced the change of fortune in our lives in a way,
everyone says we should, to the extent, some people may even mistake… that the
tragedy has not hit us hard...or for that matter, sometimes, even making us
wonder, if there is something wrong with us....are we normal or how abnormal are
we before other people who are just incapable of understanding what we are going
through.. … how’s it that we can yet again, smile, joke and go about…?!!
There is this QED formula I adopt to be able to cope with this stress ; ie – ‘
reductio ad absurdum’ theory, which we have learnt in solving theorems in
Geometry.... reducing rationale or reality into absurdity ; in short, to reduce
our mental feelings to the level of near zero or in other words, near animal
feelings.
A herd of bison going in the African plains, do have a ruffle, when one in the
group get caught by a predator ; they do not turn back , but just go forward,
they go on and on ; this attitude...of just going forward, is what has enabled
me to live with the stress; there is no other choice…..
We grieve because we have set for ourselves certain rules of life. We ‘expect
that our children should outlive us; we ‘expect’ they will be healthy in growing
up; we ‘expect’ they will be well behaved ; we ‘expect’ they will continue to
outlive us- parents, all thru; we ‘expect’ they will be successful in life &
well
settled ; we ‘expect’ they will take care of us -parents, in our old age… and so
on... Life being a journey full of expectations, that we have set for
ourselves… and when that journey goes off course, and the destination we have
expected to see, is not there anymore, we panic, worry, cry and lose our way in
grief and become blind to see the road ahead...
Accepting the change and looking for a new destination is a real challenge that
requires every ounce of positive energy & thoughts, coupled with near absence of
negative thoughts, total focus on new or changed priorities ; a high sense of
responsibility ; honest approach to changed situations and above all, total
family & friends’ support and understanding.
………I read recently, about a lady who was grieving...... until one morning when
she woke up, she looked out of the window and suddenly a realization dawned upon
her, that instead of grieving over a loss, however important in her life, which
cannot be retrieved, there are so many other wonderful blessings she should be
thankful to God... so she set a pattern every day, to write down everything,
however small or significant, that she should thank God for.... and then she
found to her amazement, this process gave her peace and strength more than all
the words of consolation from all friends, relatives combined. Truly, we can
find peace and strength from the belief that God has blessed us
with a wonderful soul as our son .. who in his short and healthy life, had
endeared himself to everyone around and gave us only good times and happy
moments to share, remember and preserve in our memory and … meeting his destiny
was the way, God had willed, for him to attain ‘moksha’.... which may not suit
our mortal ‘expectations’ we have set for ourselves ; but in the Divine
Dispensation, he HAD to keep his tryst with Destiny.
As with everyone else, we too have many a thing to thank God for, even in our
grief, that we can count as His blessings… which we can see only when our eyes
are set to see them…Knowing all these and living by these thoughts, I don’t know
to what extent, any philosophy can infuse more strength for us to face the
change... Or if there are any more answers that we can seek....
=======================================================================================
O, Noblest of men, that person of wise judtement equipoised in happiness and
distress whom cannot be disturbed by these is certainly eligible for liberation.
(Bhagawad Gita)
=======================================================================================
I wish I could see through your eyes
so I would know what you like to see.
I wish I knew your wishes,
so I could give you everything you want.
I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do,
and together we could make them come true.
I wish I knew what makes you happy,
so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world.
And lastly, I wish I were a cell in your blood,
so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart.
(How I wished this wish had remained In a present continuous tense…. And not in
a vain past tense).
=================================================================================
Have a peaceful week ahead.
Mohandas.
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