SHARED THOUGHTS….12.05.13.
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World over, today is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood. Three news items in today’s newspaper, co-incidentally appearing on Mothers day, prompted me to send in this dispatch.
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Declaring a 9 month pregnant lady clinically dead due to high blood pressure and a massive cardiac arrest, she was rushed to be operated on to save the baby, where doctors managed to revive her heart too…doctors describe this to a scientific miracle at all levels.
The healthy baby boy is so fortunate to be able to enjoy the pleasure of a born again mother…and for the mother, she is so lucky to be able to enjoy the motherhood bestowed upon her through a miracle of sorts.
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A very high ranking Govt officer resigns from her coveted post, only to be able to give full time attention to her mother, who fractured her hip in a fall and is bed ridden.
Nurses are available, but she preferred to give back to her mother, the time and attention, she herself received to carve out a successful life and career.
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A mother driven to abject poverty and desperate to survive, sells one of the new born twins, to be able to provide for the other.
While the news by itself is shocking, it is beyond anyone, to comprehend the tsunami of emotions and feelings that must have driven this mother to such a desperate decision.
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Mother's Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in March or May. It complements Father's Day, a similar celebration honoring fathers.
The celebration of Mother's Day began in the United States in the early 20th century; it is not related to the many celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have occurred throughout the world over thousands of years, such as the Greek cult to Cybele, the Roman festival of Hilaria, or the Christian Mothering Sunday celebration.
The modern holiday of Mother's Day (the second Sunday of May) was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. She then began a campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States. Although she was successful in 1914, she was already disappointed with its commercialization by the 1920s. Jarvis' holiday was adopted by other countries and it is now celebrated all over the world. In this tradition, each person offers a gift, card, or remembrance toward their mothers, grandmothers, and/ or maternal figure on mother's day. (from Wikipedia)
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As my tribute to all ‘Mothers’, let me share two wonderful anecdotes… each one with a unique message… reading these two together can take some time;
read leisurely, enjoy, digest and share … and let our admiration and adulation for all mothers and motherhood go one notch higher with this Mother’s Day.
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Love of a mother is not unconditional….?! ( from Om Swami).
The other day, someone I met for the first time asked me an interesting question. Referring to one of my posts on Love, she said, "You wrote in your article that unconditional love is very rare. Isn't a mother's love for a child unconditional?" Before I tell you what answer I gave her, I would like to share with you a little story.
Once upon a time, there was a couple. They deeply loved each other but the wife could not conceive. She felt guilty for not being able to give a child to her husband. However, medical examination showed an alarmingly low sperm count in the husband. The equation suddenly changed. It was his inability to supply a healthy seed that she could not spawn .
Once upon a time, there was a couple. They deeply loved each other but the wife could not conceive. She felt guilty for not being able to give a child to her husband. However, medical examination showed an alarmingly low sperm count in the husband. The equation suddenly changed. It was his inability to supply a healthy seed that she could not spawn .
Eventually, they got lucky one day and she conceived. While she was pregnant, the state came under siege from the enemy forces. In that war, they lost their home and had to go to a rehabilitation camp. She delivered a baby boy while in the camp. Prematurely. Over time, things began to normalize and they got a new home. They doted on their son. Their life revolved around him. Twelve years passed.
Someone knocked on their door one day. It was a lady staff member at the camp, with a young boy and a couple. As fate would have it, they found out that at the time of the child's birth, due to the chaos at the rehabilitation camp, the child actually got exchanged in the incubator. Before the staff member could rectify the mistake, she suffered a deep wound in a bomb blast and went into coma for twelve years. She said she had come to give them back their real son. She further informed that the couple accompanying her, were the real parents of the boy they thought was their son all along.
The lady and her husband were shocked. So was the boy. The boy didn't want to go to his new parents. He just wanted to stay where he was. The woman didn't want to let go off him either, but the moment she took one look at her real son, she faced the greatest dilemma of her life. She felt pulled, attracted and naturally inclined towards him. The dilemma was not about choosing one over the other, it was an emotional turmoil, great confusion about how come she felt a surge of emotions for a boy she saw for the first time in her life. How come she was feeling greater love for her real son, she thought. She did not want to let go off the child she had brought up either. The attachment was too great, too many memories. But she certainly couldn't give up her real son, she felt. The other woman felt the same about her son.
Just reflect on the story. Take your time. Let it sink in. There is no doubt that a mother's love for a child is one of the highest types. For a mother, it is full of personal sacrifices. It is one of the purest types because a mother's primary wish is to see her child well. She's generally willing to give up anything for the welfare of her children. In the context of her own life and that of her child, a mother's love is selfless. That said, in the broader context it is a little more complicated. And is it unconditional?
It is love, yes, it is perhaps closest to pure love. It may even be the definition of quintessential love. But it is not unconditional; a human relationship is seldom unconditional. The first condition is the child itself. The child has to be hers. She wouldn't feel the same intensity with just any other child. It is not about mother and any child but about a mother and her child.
Someone knocked on their door one day. It was a lady staff member at the camp, with a young boy and a couple. As fate would have it, they found out that at the time of the child's birth, due to the chaos at the rehabilitation camp, the child actually got exchanged in the incubator. Before the staff member could rectify the mistake, she suffered a deep wound in a bomb blast and went into coma for twelve years. She said she had come to give them back their real son. She further informed that the couple accompanying her, were the real parents of the boy they thought was their son all along.
The lady and her husband were shocked. So was the boy. The boy didn't want to go to his new parents. He just wanted to stay where he was. The woman didn't want to let go off him either, but the moment she took one look at her real son, she faced the greatest dilemma of her life. She felt pulled, attracted and naturally inclined towards him. The dilemma was not about choosing one over the other, it was an emotional turmoil, great confusion about how come she felt a surge of emotions for a boy she saw for the first time in her life. How come she was feeling greater love for her real son, she thought. She did not want to let go off the child she had brought up either. The attachment was too great, too many memories. But she certainly couldn't give up her real son, she felt. The other woman felt the same about her son.
Just reflect on the story. Take your time. Let it sink in. There is no doubt that a mother's love for a child is one of the highest types. For a mother, it is full of personal sacrifices. It is one of the purest types because a mother's primary wish is to see her child well. She's generally willing to give up anything for the welfare of her children. In the context of her own life and that of her child, a mother's love is selfless. That said, in the broader context it is a little more complicated. And is it unconditional?
It is love, yes, it is perhaps closest to pure love. It may even be the definition of quintessential love. But it is not unconditional; a human relationship is seldom unconditional. The first condition is the child itself. The child has to be hers. She wouldn't feel the same intensity with just any other child. It is not about mother and any child but about a mother and her child.
Imagine a criminal who brutally raped and killed his victim and is waiting for a sentence. Let's assume he'll be sentenced next week where he may be let off with a life sentence or he may be sent to the gallows. The mother of even such a criminal prays to her god for his protection and pardon. She doesn't want her son to die. She knows he ruined a life besides causing irreparable damage to the victim's loved ones. Yet, she still wouldn't want her son to be punished.
Why is a mother often willing and able to forgive even the gravest acts of her children? The attachment she has with her children, the love she feels for them far exceeds in ardor and fullness compared to any other relationship.
Why is a mother often willing and able to forgive even the gravest acts of her children? The attachment she has with her children, the love she feels for them far exceeds in ardor and fullness compared to any other relationship.
Why? Let me offer you my perspective. As follows:
The truth is a mother and her child are not separate entities. A child is a part of the mother in every aspect. He literally comes out of her body, they are created from her very own egg, in the womb he partakes of the same food. A child is a mother's life walking outside, an extension. In fact, a mother achieves immortality through her child. She lives on beyond her own years through that child. She rejoices in seeing her child outdo her because she is not competing against him. You cannot compete against yourself. So, if you cannot compete against yourself, why is it not uncommon to see mother-daughter envy though. It's simple. A daughter is a part of her mother, a living derivative. What you see in such a scenario is mere internal conflict projected on the relationship outside. It is not competition leading to conflict, it is the other way around. The harder a mother's own life, the greater the chance of such conflict. Often conflict is merely a reflection of the degree of attachment one may have to a certain viewpoint, object, or person, themselves including. Both a mother and her daughter are potent carriers of civilization, of love, of care, compassion and genetic signature.
It is for this reason that the love a mother has for her child is beyond classification. I may say that it is not unconditional but in all honesty, I would prefer to stay away from categorizing it as selfless or selfish, conditional or unconditional and so on. It simply is beyond words. No one is smart enough, no words so profound, no intellect so great to even begin understanding the divinity of a mother's love, much less encapsulate it.
If you have not hugged your mother and expressed your love and gratitude to her, if you have never sat by her feet thanking her for all she has done for you, you have not yet discovered the divine side of love that is latent in you. We shouldn't be celebrating just mother's days but mother's years and mother's lifetimes. Such is my view, you are free to have your own.
The truth is a mother and her child are not separate entities. A child is a part of the mother in every aspect. He literally comes out of her body, they are created from her very own egg, in the womb he partakes of the same food. A child is a mother's life walking outside, an extension. In fact, a mother achieves immortality through her child. She lives on beyond her own years through that child. She rejoices in seeing her child outdo her because she is not competing against him. You cannot compete against yourself. So, if you cannot compete against yourself, why is it not uncommon to see mother-daughter envy though. It's simple. A daughter is a part of her mother, a living derivative. What you see in such a scenario is mere internal conflict projected on the relationship outside. It is not competition leading to conflict, it is the other way around. The harder a mother's own life, the greater the chance of such conflict. Often conflict is merely a reflection of the degree of attachment one may have to a certain viewpoint, object, or person, themselves including. Both a mother and her daughter are potent carriers of civilization, of love, of care, compassion and genetic signature.
It is for this reason that the love a mother has for her child is beyond classification. I may say that it is not unconditional but in all honesty, I would prefer to stay away from categorizing it as selfless or selfish, conditional or unconditional and so on. It simply is beyond words. No one is smart enough, no words so profound, no intellect so great to even begin understanding the divinity of a mother's love, much less encapsulate it.
If you have not hugged your mother and expressed your love and gratitude to her, if you have never sat by her feet thanking her for all she has done for you, you have not yet discovered the divine side of love that is latent in you. We shouldn't be celebrating just mother's days but mother's years and mother's lifetimes. Such is my view, you are free to have your own.
It so happens that it's Mother's day today. Make it a special one.
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A Mother may be educated or uneducated…. But she is the Best Teacher, from whom we can learn how to show Care & Affection always.
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"The Journey Of A Mother"
The young mother set her foot on the path of life.
"Is this the long way?" she asked.
And the guide said "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old
before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the
beginning."
But the young mother was happy, and she would not
believe that anything could be better than these
years.
So she played with her children, she fed them and
bathed them, and taught them how to tie their shoes
and ride a bike and reminded them to feed the dog, and do their
homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them, and the young
Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."
Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path
was sometimes dark, and the children shook with
fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and
covered them with her arms, and the children said,
"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near,
and no harm can come."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead,
and the children climbed and grew weary, and the
mother was weary. But at all times she said to the
children, "A little patience and we are there." So the children
climbed, and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. And
with this, she gave them strength to face the world.
Year after year, she showed them compassion,
understanding, hope, but most of all...unconditional
love. And when they reached the top they said,
"Mother, we would not have done it without you."
The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the
mother grew old and she became little and bent. But her children were
tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the other, when she lay
down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day
than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now
passing these traits on to their children."
And when the way became rough for her, they lifted
her, and gave her their strength, just as she had
given them hers.
One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill, they could see a
shining road and golden gates flung wide.
And mother said: "I have reached the end of my
journey. And now I know the end is better than the
beginning, for my children can walk with dignity and
pride, with their heads held high, and so can their
children after them.
The young mother set her foot on the path of life.
"Is this the long way?" she asked.
And the guide said "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old
before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the
beginning."
But the young mother was happy, and she would not
believe that anything could be better than these
years.
So she played with her children, she fed them and
bathed them, and taught them how to tie their shoes
and ride a bike and reminded them to feed the dog, and do their
homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them, and the young
Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."
Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path
was sometimes dark, and the children shook with
fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and
covered them with her arms, and the children said,
"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near,
and no harm can come."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead,
and the children climbed and grew weary, and the
mother was weary. But at all times she said to the
children, "A little patience and we are there." So the children
climbed, and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. And
with this, she gave them strength to face the world.
Year after year, she showed them compassion,
understanding, hope, but most of all...unconditional
love. And when they reached the top they said,
"Mother, we would not have done it without you."
The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the
mother grew old and she became little and bent. But her children were
tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the other, when she lay
down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day
than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now
passing these traits on to their children."
And when the way became rough for her, they lifted
her, and gave her their strength, just as she had
given them hers.
One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill, they could see a
shining road and golden gates flung wide.
And mother said: "I have reached the end of my
journey. And now I know the end is better than the
beginning, for my children can walk with dignity and
pride, with their heads held high, and so can their
children after them.
And the children said, "You will
always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her, but she is with
us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living
presence."
always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her, but she is with
us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living
presence."
From Varghese Binu
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Your Mother is always with you.. Your Mother lives inside your laughter.
And she's crystallized in every tear drop. A mother
shows every emotion .happiness, sadness, fear,
jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement,
joy, sorrow... and all the while, hoping and praying you will only
know the good feelings in life.
She's the place you came from, your first home,
and she's the map you follow with every step you take.
Your Mother is always with you.. Your Mother lives inside your laughter.
And she's crystallized in every tear drop. A mother
shows every emotion .happiness, sadness, fear,
jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement,
joy, sorrow... and all the while, hoping and praying you will only
know the good feelings in life.
She's the place you came from, your first home,
and she's the map you follow with every step you take.
She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on
earth can separate you. Not time, not space...not even death!
MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED.
earth can separate you. Not time, not space...not even death!
MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED.
have a wonderful week ahead.
MOHANDAS. KP.
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