Sense of Values and of Needs.

SHARED THOUGHTS….. 30.05.2015.

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Sense of Values.

 

This saying has gone around a lot, purportedly being said by a cine celebrity, not sure though.

 

Whether you have a Maruti or a BMW, the road remains the same. Whether you travel economy class or business, your destination doesn’t change. Whether you have a Titan or Rolex the time is the same. Whether you have apple or Samsung or lava, people who call you remains the same. There is nothing wrong in dreaming a luxurious life. What needs to be taken care of is to not let the NEED become GREED. Because needs can always be met… but greed can never be fulfilled.

 

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In my previous dispatch, I talked about imbibing children with values … they need to be taught the lesson of cultivating a sense of values. The importance of understanding the sense of values are not confined to growing children alone, but to all adults. Everyone learns sense of value especially value of money – question is - when – for some the lessons are learnt when it is too late. Such people offer the best advice. But who would listen to a loser. The lesson has to be learnt when one is still earning.

 

Money is good for nothing unless you know the value of it by experience.

 

Giving correct values to anything is the single most important lesson to be taught or leant by anyone. Money comes and money goes. But money cannot buy lessons. Perhaps money lost can teach a lesson.

 

What is Value? I read somewhere, “an exceptionally complicating concept in Finance is Value. What exactly is it ? Value is synonymous with Worth, but that is in the eye of the beholder. Something is worth whatever you think it is worth (what is value). The Institute of Value Management defines value as Satisfaction of needs divided by use of resources. From a financial standpoint knowing the value of buying or leasing a car, buying or leasing a home and investing is a foundation to understand value”.

 

Values are also defined as ideals, beliefs, customs or principles that a person holds dear. Values are learned and picked up throughout our lives. We learn values from our family, friends, school, community and country..

 

We are constantly bombarded every moment of the day whether it be at home, office or social gathering about spending or buying options.... its all about spending anyways.…, where we see products that must be purchased to look smarter, fairer, prettier ; a swanky real estate development that is just a phone call away.. or that beauty of a beast of a car, which is just one test drive away…. With an overdose exposure to buying / spending options, one’s sense of realism as to one’s actual need is suspended.  As is our experience of seeing  a movie – where it is all about willing suspension of disbelief – we lose sense of our NEEDS and what prevails is our sense of a Need to possess ; to be one up on our friend, our neighbour, to be the envy of others around you. The success of a commercial ad, is how well it has inflated our ego.

 

It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor

 

Having said this, there is absolutely no guilt whatsoever, to be travelling business or first class, with a Rolex around the wrist, with branded accessories, sporting the fanciest cars…if all these and more are very well within one’s means and if one truly belongs to that elite class. (a first class passenger need not necessarily be a first class personality).. For how else are such products and services get patronised if it were not for such well endowed wallets of a few.

 

It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.

 

Abusing one’s sense of value is by living beyond one’s means. This is the red line which should not be crossed. You cross it at your own peril.

 

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POWER OF MONEY

By Adam Khoo ( Singapore 's youngest millionaire at 26 yrs.)

Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia , Indonesia , Thailand and Suzhou ( China ) . I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is traveling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still looked pretty confused.

This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment they earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster.

Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky).

I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur's Org) a few years back (YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business), I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worth well over $5 m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyotas and Nissans, not Audis, Mercs, BMWs..

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation.

Thank God my rich dad foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last.

Material happiness never lasts, it just gives you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life..

Instead, what makes me happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see my companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries.

What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.

What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this blog is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.

I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be it teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product.

 

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Needs – a true perspective.   One Sunday morning, a wealthy man sat in his balcony enjoying sunshine and his coffee when a little ant caught his eye which was going from one side to the other side of the balcony carrying a big leaf several times more than its size. The man watched it for more than an hour. He saw that the ant faced many impediments during its journey, paused, took a diversion and then continued towards destination. At one point the tiny creature came across a crack in the floor. It paused for a little while, analyzed and then laid the huge leaf over the crack, walked over the leaf, picked the leaf on the other side then continued its journey. The man was captivated by the cleverness of the ant, one of God’s tiniest creatures. The incident left the man in awe and forced him to contemplate over the miracle of Creation. It showed the greatness of the Creator. In front of his eyes there was this tiny creature of God, lacking in size yet equipped with a brain to analyze, contemplate, reason, explore, discover and overcome. Along with all these capabilities, the man also noticed that this tiny creature shared some human shortcomings. The man saw about an hour later the creature had reached its destination – a tiny hole in the floor which was entrance to its underground dwelling. And it was at this point that the ant’s shortcoming that it shared with the man was revealed. How could the ant carry into the tiny hole the large leaf that it had managed to carefully bring to the destination? It simply couldn’t! So the tiny creature, after all the painstaking and hard work and exercising great skills, overcoming all the difficulties along the way, just left behind the large leaf and went home empty-handed. The ant had not thought about the end before it began its challenging journey and in the end the large leaf was nothing more than a burden to it. The creature had no option, but to leave it behind to reach its destination. The man learned a great lesson that day. Isn’t that the truth about our lives? We worry about our family, we worry about our job, we worry about how to earn more money, we worry about where we should live – 5 bedroom or 6 bedroom house, what kind of vehicle to buy – a Mercedes or BMW or a Porsche, what kind of dresses to wear, all sorts of things, only to abandon all these things when we reach our destination – The Grave. We don’t realize in our life’s journey that these are just burdens that we are carrying with utmost care and fear of losing them, only to find that at the end they are useless and we can’t take them with us.

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Before you speak, listen.

Before you write, think.

Before you spend, earn.

Before you invest, investigate.

Before you criticize, wait.

Before you pray, forgive.

Before you quit, try.

Before you retire, save.

Before you die, give. ..

 

William A Ward.

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Have an enjoyable and valuable weekend well spent.

MOHANDAS KIZHAKKE.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/

 

Children's upbringing & values

SHARED THOUGHTS….. 23.05.2015.

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Children’s upbringing.

There was this young man who was sentenced to death after killing an individual for theft. Before his execution, he asked to see his mother for one final time; when she came, he spat on her face and screamed in anger, accusing her of being the reason behind what happened to him.

When he was asked how, he said she did not beat his hands when he stole for the first time and did not prevent him when he repeated it.; rather, she encouraged him to do it and now he he is losing his life after becoming a killer because of the delinquency that he was raised on.

The mother is the child’s instructor at this early stage and there is no substitute for instructions children receive from their parents. It is great for those to grow up while they adhere to beautiful humanitarian basics such as loving for others what they love for themselves and treat people as they wish to be treated and most importantly to be a source of good and not evil.

Although the father plays an important role in educating the child, the mother plays a more important and greater role in this process. Rather it can rightly be said that the mother contributes the greater share and plays the best role in the early training and education of her children. Moreover the mother is more loving, kind and patient than the father, she is nearer to the children and they are more free and attached to her. This makes the mother more capable of educating and training her children in the most proper way.

“The parent is like a mirror, the reflection it gives, the child adopts. If the reflection is good, the child is good. If the reflection is bad, the child is bad.”

We are one of those fortunate grandparents blessed to see our grand children grow under our eyes…the lovely two girls live with their parents and they are our neighbors. The bigger of the two girls go to a play school nearby.  Whenever time permits, I go to the school to pick her up.

On one such errand, I witnessed an incident which reflected parenting in a very poor light. This school is one of those high end European expat managed schools which has an impressive profile for the staff & teachers and the wards are more or less from very affluent backgrounds.  One such parent, an Arab national, parked the car next to mine and we both entered the school together to pick up our respective kids. He picked up his son perhaps. I was seating my granddaughter in the rear seat with clear instruction that she cannot sit in the front seat, which is against the law.

When I looked over to the car parked by the side, I could see the Arab gentleman, seating his son in the front seat, giving him a sandwich packed in a Styrofoam container, with a soft drink bottle.

The little one must have been very hungry, for he devoured the contents in one go and flushed down the food with the soft drink. The satisfied and happy father, simply threw the Styrofoam packing and the soft drink container right in front of the car, on the fringe of the sidewalk, without a moment of hesitation, as is his habit for sure. Then he drove away, with the junior in the front seat, without fastening seat belt.

Is this not what that young boy would learn to do, as he grows up? Would he ever learn to respect the law or develop the habit of throwing the waste into a dust bin? I have the habit of giving a toffee to my little girl when I go to pick her up. She is trained to unwrap the toffee and put into her pocket if she has one, or put into my pocket until we see a dustbin.

Children are good observers and what they see are imprinted in their young impressionable minds. The habits are formed thus…and these habits die hard.

“when the gardener is good, flowers will bloom”.  It is rightly said, “the child is the father of man”.

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Learning values.

“Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be Happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the price”

I wish to share with you all, the below valuable message on values. 

I had known a friend of mine who used say that he misplaces and loses his pen very often.

He will use only very cheap pens so that he need not worry about losing them. He was not worried about his carelessness habit. 

I suggested to him to buy the costliest pen he could afford and see what happens. 

He did that and purchased a 22 carat Cross pen. After nearly six months I met him and asked him if he continues to misplace his pen. 

He said that he was being very careful about his costly pen and he was surprised how he has changed! 

I explained to him that the value of the pen made the difference and there was nothing wrong with him as a person! 

This is what happens in our life. 

We are careful with things which we value most. 

* If we value our health, we will be careful about what and how we eat; 

* if we value our friends, we will treat them with respect; 

* if we value money, we will be careful while spending; 

* if we value our time, we will not waste it. 

*if we value relationship we will not break it.

Carefulness is a basic trait all of us have, we know when to be careful! 

Carelessness only shows what we don't value......

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Teach your children, as they grow up, to being human, rather than being a human being.

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Have an enjoyable and careful weekend.

MOHANDAS KIZHAKKE.

http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/

 

 

Blame game & Modern slaves

SHARED THOUGHTS….. 16.05.2015. 

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Much time has elapsed since my previous dispatch in Shared Thoughts. I
confess the culprits were some hectic travel schedule and an issue with
sitting for a long while.  



Blame game. 



We had a nice trip to USA and Canada that lasted 25 days. The sights and
sounds are etched not only in our memory but also in the memory of our very
smart phone. This device acts as a phone more as a third or fourth option;
others being the role of a camera; it is used widely to connect with the
world of friends and relatives thru social media and if need be as a phone. 



In our earlier travels, I used to carry my good old digital camera, very
good old video camera ; sure, the phone will be in a corner, hardly called
to perform, because the calls are far and few between. 



During travels to various places, camera functions as the best recorder of
all that is good our eyes have seen. Yet, I recall having to quickly grab my
video camera to record a good passing moment before it ceases to exist…
camera will be in one hand, video in another, often shooting with one hand,
both the devices strapped across my shoulder to prevent a fatal fall..As
soon as we are back to base from such tours, the first thing I do is to
transfer the pictures to a CD or a flash drive, where it is safe. 



Since the smart phones came into being, it is sad to see that this bully is
pushing off the loyal camera and video camera into oblivion and assume multi
roles like the Bollywood hero who sometimes don not only double role but
also that of a dozen roles. Today this contraption  which is aptly named
‘smart’ phone not only rules our life, but also make us rue its overpowering
influence on our daily life. 



Coming back to our trip to US, we returned with a good 350 plus pictures all
stuffed into our mobile Note4’s memory. To all those who greeted us on our
return, it was a good feeling to show off the pictures and videos that
captured the chill in minus 16 deg C outdoors and the famous landmarks in
the back drop of several cities traversed. 



But then, my smart phone has a mind of its own.. seemingly to justify why it
is smart. It just decided enough is enough.. the entire picture gallery got
wiped off without any provocation or a prompt. All pictures just vanished
out its memory !!! I had such deep faith in the reliability of my smart
phone, that it never seemed necessary for me to sit and transfer all the
pictures to a safer location, as was my habit until recently, presumably
thinking if I did that immediately on my return, my smart phone would feel
offended. 



I had to find somebody to blame. Looking around, I could blame that shop
keeper who took my phone and gave it a new protective tempered glass and a
new back cover. 

If it was not him, then it might have been at the hands of my nephew who
went through all the pictures.. he must have done something. How comforting
if only I could find someone to blame.



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Modern day slaves. 



The day began as usual. The dawn of yet another day... anything can happen
when you look at the day yet to unfold. With positive feelings I recited my
simple short morning prayers to thank God and remembering those whom my
memory hold dear. Getting up from bed, my hands go to search for the phone
on the night stand. With the phone in one hand, I walk to the wash room.. a
quick glance at whatsapp. ..then to the kitchen to make my own cup of green
tea and a glass of cinnamon water, all the while reading the messages.  



With the phone held tight on one hand, I then walk to my work desk, with my
tea cup in the other hand. Comfortably seated, it is time to connect with
friends and relatives to exchange morning pleasantries..  from silent mode,
I activate my notification sound. I can hear the incoming good morning
wishes from loved ones. I reply to each of them. Further I recall all those
who mean something to me, who have not yet thought of me. How can I leave
them alone? So here goes. One warm good morning message to many of them. 



Laptop is opened and then I am available to my vendors, colleagues and
customers far and wide, beyond continents. I am satisfied that the day has
begun well.. Visit to wash room is not complete without the phone in hand to
catch up with the latest breaking news !  This smart device has obliterated
the good old newspaper and cross word puzzle & pen!! It was so common to see
until very recently, days of newspapers stuffed in a corner of the washroom,
in whichever house one would visit.  



Time for morning walk and then a session of exercises. Shower, prayer,
breakfast, dress up and out of home to office. .. and then it happened.
Totally unexpected and unplanned. I am already at the first signal and it is
red. Hands go to look for the phone to while away the good 2-3 minutes at
the signal. And  then the sudden realisation that something is missing on
myself.. a part of myself is missing.. .. oh my God.. forgot to carry the
phone… but then it is too late to get back  What happens next is pure
horror..  highly edgy, restless hours not just for myself but for those
trying to reach me wondering what happened. To some, this can be even a life
threatening experience. 

No use crying over it, blaming anyone else, kicking myself how this could
happen. 



Try doing this.. a very difficult thing to do… for just one day.. nay, one
full day it is too much. You may not survive. Try this most difficult thing
to do, for half a day. 

Leave your phone at home and go out. Or simply switch off the phone &
computer for half a day. Check your BP levels before and after the duration.
If you have survived, then my congratulations. 



We have humbly submitted ourselves to the influence of electronics to rule
our life. We are nothing but modern day slaves to these devices. There is no
escape. 

Writing and reading are the casualties of this electronic invasion into our
households and office. It is a pity to see the so called graduates fumbling
with a pen unable to scribble anything coherent, rather the doctors would
find their hand writing highly legible before the present generation growing
up without paper.



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“ The battle you are going through is not fuelled by the words or actions of
others. It is fuelled by the mind that gives it importance.”



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Wish you all an enjoyable and safe weekend.





MOHANDAS. KIZHAKKE

<http://mohandas-sharedthoughts.blogspot.com/>