SHARED THOUGHTS….. 23.05.2015.
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Children’s upbringing.
There was this young man who was sentenced to death after killing an individual for theft. Before his execution, he asked to see his mother for one final time; when she came, he spat on her face and screamed in anger, accusing her of being the reason behind what happened to him.
When he was asked how, he said she did not beat his hands when he stole for the first time and did not prevent him when he repeated it.; rather, she encouraged him to do it and now he he is losing his life after becoming a killer because of the delinquency that he was raised on.
The mother is the child’s instructor at this early stage and there is no substitute for instructions children receive from their parents. It is great for those to grow up while they adhere to beautiful humanitarian basics such as loving for others what they love for themselves and treat people as they wish to be treated and most importantly to be a source of good and not evil.
Although the father plays an important role in educating the child, the mother plays a more important and greater role in this process. Rather it can rightly be said that the mother contributes the greater share and plays the best role in the early training and education of her children. Moreover the mother is more loving, kind and patient than the father, she is nearer to the children and they are more free and attached to her. This makes the mother more capable of educating and training her children in the most proper way.
“The parent is like a mirror, the reflection it gives, the child adopts. If the reflection is good, the child is good. If the reflection is bad, the child is bad.”
We are one of those fortunate grandparents blessed to see our grand children grow under our eyes…the lovely two girls live with their parents and they are our neighbors. The bigger of the two girls go to a play school nearby. Whenever time permits, I go to the school to pick her up.
On one such errand, I witnessed an incident which reflected parenting in a very poor light. This school is one of those high end European expat managed schools which has an impressive profile for the staff & teachers and the wards are more or less from very affluent backgrounds. One such parent, an Arab national, parked the car next to mine and we both entered the school together to pick up our respective kids. He picked up his son perhaps. I was seating my granddaughter in the rear seat with clear instruction that she cannot sit in the front seat, which is against the law.
When I looked over to the car parked by the side, I could see the Arab gentleman, seating his son in the front seat, giving him a sandwich packed in a Styrofoam container, with a soft drink bottle.
The little one must have been very hungry, for he devoured the contents in one go and flushed down the food with the soft drink. The satisfied and happy father, simply threw the Styrofoam packing and the soft drink container right in front of the car, on the fringe of the sidewalk, without a moment of hesitation, as is his habit for sure. Then he drove away, with the junior in the front seat, without fastening seat belt.
Is this not what that young boy would learn to do, as he grows up? Would he ever learn to respect the law or develop the habit of throwing the waste into a dust bin? I have the habit of giving a toffee to my little girl when I go to pick her up. She is trained to unwrap the toffee and put into her pocket if she has one, or put into my pocket until we see a dustbin.
Children are good observers and what they see are imprinted in their young impressionable minds. The habits are formed thus…and these habits die hard.
“when the gardener is good, flowers will bloom”. It is rightly said, “the child is the father of man”.
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Learning values.
“Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be Happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the price”
I wish to share with you all, the below valuable message on values.
I had known a friend of mine who used say that he misplaces and loses his pen very often.
He will use only very cheap pens so that he need not worry about losing them. He was not worried about his carelessness habit.
I suggested to him to buy the costliest pen he could afford and see what happens.
He did that and purchased a 22 carat Cross pen. After nearly six months I met him and asked him if he continues to misplace his pen.
He said that he was being very careful about his costly pen and he was surprised how he has changed!
I explained to him that the value of the pen made the difference and there was nothing wrong with him as a person!
This is what happens in our life.
We are careful with things which we value most.
* If we value our health, we will be careful about what and how we eat;
* if we value our friends, we will treat them with respect;
* if we value money, we will be careful while spending;
* if we value our time, we will not waste it.
*if we value relationship we will not break it.
Carefulness is a basic trait all of us have, we know when to be careful!
Carelessness only shows what we don't value......
I had known a friend of mine who used say that he misplaces and loses his pen very often.
He will use only very cheap pens so that he need not worry about losing them. He was not worried about his carelessness habit.
I suggested to him to buy the costliest pen he could afford and see what happens.
He did that and purchased a 22 carat Cross pen. After nearly six months I met him and asked him if he continues to misplace his pen.
He said that he was being very careful about his costly pen and he was surprised how he has changed!
I explained to him that the value of the pen made the difference and there was nothing wrong with him as a person!
This is what happens in our life.
We are careful with things which we value most.
* If we value our health, we will be careful about what and how we eat;
* if we value our friends, we will treat them with respect;
* if we value money, we will be careful while spending;
* if we value our time, we will not waste it.
*if we value relationship we will not break it.
Carefulness is a basic trait all of us have, we know when to be careful!
Carelessness only shows what we don't value......
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Teach your children, as they grow up, to being human, rather than being a human being.
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Have an enjoyable and careful weekend.
MOHANDAS KIZHAKKE.
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